How She Actually Wants You To Groom Your Body Hair
Men, one of the main reasons we heterosexual females like you is because you’ve got lots of testosterone. You’re a man, after all. It’s kind of a major selling point. But with all the goodies that come with testosterone (muscle development and sex drive) there also come things like body hair and body odour.
These aren’t necessarily negatives. But it’s a major misconception that men who practice proper hygiene are somehow effeminate or less “manly.” There’s nothing “girly” about taking care of yourself. In fact, it’s a major turn on. So please don’t take offence to this. It’s not that we women think you’re disgusting; in fact, we’re rather fond of you—and your bodies. But if you really want to seal the deal, or at least get past a first or second date, you might want to take note of the following.
Let’s get this immediately out of the way: We do NOT hate your body hair. Not even a little bit. In fact, it’s pretty damn sexy … to a point.
Pubic hair comes with the territory of being a full grown adult and that is entirely understood. However, you need to keep it in check. The easier it is for us to find what we’re looking for, the happier we both shall be. There’s no reason to go so far as eliminating it entirely or waxing it into endearing shapes. (In fact, please don’t do that.) But as long as we can find it … and tend to it … without needing a treasure map, we’re going to be a-OK.
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Get rid of it. And we mean all of it. Immediately.
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Here’s where you can work with what you’ve got. If you’ve got chest hair, be proud of it! Chest hair is a turn on. It’s part of what makes you a man. Trimming it to avoid that year-round Mohair is certainly appreciated, but by no means do we need you to pull a Steve Carrell in “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” and wax it all off.
Related: Can You Dye Grey Chest Hair?
A man’s beard, to a woman, is entirely subjective. Like men in general, they come in all shapes, sizes, and colours. If you have one, how you trim is it entirely up to you, but all should be well-washed and void of food scraps. (You’d think this would be a given, but you’d be surprised.)
I realise this is vague advice, but a beard is a fine work of art, subject to style and taste, and no one beard suits all. And if you are going to exercise your right to have a beard, there is one thing all women can agree on: soul patches and chin straps have got to go. You are not a Backstreet Boy.
A man who doesn’t shy away from getting dirt under his fingernails is a sexy one. But after you’re done hauling the lumber or dry-rubbing the beef, you best clean up. We love your hands, and we love your hands on us. We just don’t want whatever you were working on to end up inside of us.
You don’t have to go as far as getting a manicure or pedicure if you are on top of the situation—but we certainly will not think any less of you if you go this extra mile. Clean hands and feet says a lot about the rest of your body.
If we’re kissing you and you aren’t a regular flosser … we can tell. And it’s gross. Bacteria accumulates quite quickly between your teeth between meals, and brushing doesn’t get all of it. Fun fact: There’s nothing sexy about licking a mouth full of bacteria.
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We like a man who smells good. We like smelling like you the next morning, especially if it was a memorable experience. But if we can still smell you burning the inside of our nostrils for days after our date, that’s something we can do without.
To master the art of cologne is to master the art of subtlety. Too much suggests overcompensation for something—whether that’s lack of bathing or anything else one might have to overcompensate for.
Use it. We want your lips on a variety of our parts. Parts that want to be touched softly.
Like your nether regions, we don’t ask that you frequent the regular waxing salon. No need for Penelope Cruz eyebrows. (Please don’t have Penelope Cruz eyebrows.) When it comes to brows, there’s really only one rule to follow as a man: There should be two of them.