Here’s Why You Should Get Her The Lingerie She Really Wants

It will be as good for you as it is for her.

Jerilyn Covert |

The Lingerie She Really Wants

So you want to buy her some sexy lingerie? Something special, lacy, maybe even frilly. And there’s no doubt she’ll look great in it. But as soon as she’s given it a maiden parade for your viewing pleasure,  it vanishes into a drawer, where it sits, untouched, while you wonder what was wrong with it, or with you, or with her.

It’s possible that you (and she) are thinking of lingerie all wrong, as something just for special occasions – to be slipped on only to be taken right back off. Something that looks alluring, with little thought given to comfort or practicality. You’re not alone. But a new wave in the lingerie industry is changing all that.

You don’t have to stumble into a shop like a deer in headlights to buy her a new, sexy piece – all of these can be found online. Start shopping.

It’ll Boost Her Confidence

Women want two things out of their lingerie: comfort and style. But not just any style – their own. Lingerie is the first thing a woman puts on, and the last thing she takes off. It’s closely associated with the most personal aspects of her body.

So if it doesn’t align with her sense of self – if it makes her feel like a pin-up, which she’s probably not – that can detract from her pleasure.

Lingerie shouldn’t contour and push and pull, which drives that ‘”This is not my body.’” It should conform to you and bring out your best self. That’s why one big trend, athleisure-inspired underwear like the bralette, is key. The bralette is comfy enough for a workout (even a horizontal one).

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Audrey Longline Bralette

R 249

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Shop: Desir’s Range Of Sexy Lingerie

You’ll Have More Morning Sex

No woman wants to sleep in a scratchy lace bra or a tight bodice. But a silky-soft chemise? She’ll still be wearing it when she wakes up, ready for round two.

Lingerie makers are thinking beyond sexy time (and you should, too). A wider variety of pieces can be incorporated into her entire life, says Mariela Rovito, co-founder of Eberjey. She can wear chemises, baby dolls, and silky pj’s to bed, and camisoles and bralettes as innerwear during the day. Look for soft fabrics like modal, pima cotton, jersey, and stretch lace, says Rovito.


Dusty Rose Slip Dress

R 600


Black Covet Bodysuit

R 459


Kanya Bodysuit

R 540


Related: 5 Couples’ Sex Toys That Won’t Break The Bank

It’ll Help You With Foreplay

Don’t forget you’re buying this for her, not you. Here’s why: “Guys mistakenly think women wear lingerie to make themselves look irresistible to men,” says Dr. Snyder. “Truth is, that’s merely a side benefit. Most women wear it primarily to turn themselves on.”

“The allusion of ‘You don’t know what I have on today’ can start that foreplay, which is what women like,” says Marcelle Pick, an expert in female sexual health. For you, the hint of what she has on is arousing. But she’s the one with that sexy little reminder against her skin all day. Pick’s tip: shop together. It’s a segue to talking about each of your turn-ons.


Beige Lace Set

R 499


Related: Spice Up Your Sex Life With These Flavoured Condoms And Lube

She’ll Wear It Lots

Sexy lingerie is often linked to, well, sex – and that can be fraught with enough anxiety without having to fasten clips or untangle straps.

Today’s lingerie is moving away from “bedroom costumes”, says Bree McKeen, founder of Evelyn & Bobbie, a crowdfunded lingerie brand. Putting it on doesn’t have to signal sex. And as Dr. Snyder points out, removing that expectation may encourage her to wear it more.

“Lingerie should be like a favorite fragrance,” Dr. Snyder says. “She should feel it works well with her natural allure. She shouldn’t feel she needs to wear it to turn you on.”

Comfy boy shorts or tap shorts with a supersoft cami can easily replace her go-to sweats, because she’ll want to lounge in them.


Miss Moss Cheeky Boyshort And Indie Bralette

R 160 (Shorts) & R280 (Bralette)


You’ll Feel Her, Not Padding

Remember the Wonderbra? As in, “Gee, I wonder if there are nipples and actual breasts under there?” Maybe you liked the look, but fondling padding isn’t fun. These days, fabrics tend to be less padded or sheer, says celeb stylist Constanze Han. So breasts look, feel, and move like breasts. Of course, sheer material is inherently erotic. And it’s comfortable. Get the idea?


Primrose Bra & Knicker

R 499 (Top) & 399 (Bottom)



Bralette: The yoga pants of bras. Wireless, no moulded cups, but still comfortably supportive. Chemise: A loose-fitting night-dress that feels so good she’ll want to stay in bed.
Babydoll: A short, often sleeveless, loose-fitting negligee she can sleep in.
Camisole: Cami for short. Kind of like a tank top she wears under her clothes. Or by itself, in bed. Boy shorts: Tight shorts cut in a men’s style that make her butt and legs look nothing like a boy’s.
Tap shorts: Flowy little shorts inspired by French knickers. We all just want to use the word knickers. Negligee: Don’t know that one, either? It’s a long, flimsy see-through number.

Related: What She Wants In Bed That Will Make Sex Better For You Too

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