The Ultimate A – Z Guide Of Sex Toys For You To Try This Valentine’s Day
Three times a week. That’s the magic number doctors recommend you ejaculate. Seriously. “Research has shown that men who ejaculate at least three times a week have a much lower chance of developing erectile dysfunction as they grow older,” confirms Dr Careen Rascher, Sexual Medicine Specialist at the My Sexual Health clinic in Bryanston. The old adage “use it or lose it” applies: because your partner may not always share the same enthusiasm to help keep your bits working, masturbation is an important part of a healthy sex life, she says. But it’s not only your penis that should get a regular workout. Your prostate gland may be out of sight, but it shouldn’t be out of mind.
“Stimulation of the prostate in men with prostatitis reduces the discomfort of inflammation. It prevents the build up of prostatic fluid and has been shown to decrease the risk of prostatic cancer,” says Dr Rascher. To “milk” your prostate, first you’ll have to track it down – it’s roughly seven centimetres up the front wall of your anus. Here’s where sex toys come in… from anal plugs to prostate stimulators, there’s a whole lot of “behind the scenes” action you’re missing out on.
Plugs? Yup. “As the pelvic floor muscles begin to contract during orgasm, the anal muscles contract around the plug and make the spasms feel stronger and harder. Orgasmic contractions around a butt plug feel more intense and may improve the strength and duration of your climax,” says Dr Rascher. “We’ve seen an increase in men using prostate massagers. It’s not just about pleasure, they are looking for the health benefits they offer,” says Jade Amron-Coetzee, Operations Manager of Désir Intimates. Another product flying off the shelves is vacuum pumps, she says.
Vacuum pumps of the penis are usually prescribed as part of the treatment of erectile dysfunction. “By creating a vacuum around the penis, blood is drawn into the penis to create an erection. Vacuum pumps are useful in men for whom other treatment for ED is ineffective, and are sometimes used together with other therapy for ED for added benefit,” says Dr Rascher. You’ve got the knowledge, now haul out your enormous, er, credit card, and get shopping.
A = AIR The hourglass shape of the Tenga AirTech Reusable Vacuum Masturbator makes this a handy tool (even with um, slippery hands). Slip inside it and you’ll be welcomed by the flexible material, but it’s the air chambers on the outside of the sleeve that sets it apart. They help increase the vacuum sensation by allowing for the air to flow round easier, enhancing sensations. Plus, the inner sleeve is removable and washable. Beats your socks.
B = BOW TIE Touch of bondage to spice up that dull cousin’s wedding you’ve been invited to? Wear the His Rules Bondage Bow Tie to the event, then get her to sneak away with you so you can unveil its other qualities. R345, matildas.co.za
C = COCK RINGS They’ve been around for over two thousand years, but the original materials such as ivory and jade have made way for more rewarding substances. The Screaming O Propello Dual Vibrating Couples Ring glides easily onto the base, keeping you harder for longer while delivering some pretty heady vibrations. Plus, the extensions simultaneously make contact with your anus and her clitoris. R604, desir.co.za
FYI Cock rings have been one of the most popular sex toys in South Africa, according to the Désir Intimate Collection Sex Toy Report 2017.
D = DESIGNER The artsy 3D-printed tubes from Tenga 3D needn’t be hidden in your sock drawer. They are that pretty. The sleeves are made from flexible, 3D-printed antibacterial plastic, with textures such as twisted spirals, or stacked, triangular patterns, to create unique sensations. POA, tenga-global.com
E = EROGENOUS ZONES Yes, you have more than one. The head and shaft of the penis, testicles, perineum, anus and prostate are all sexy spots.
F = FOREPLAY Women don’t only love it, they need it to get to the finish line. Here’s an option that doesn’t require any hard work from you. The wireless remote egg vibrator is a vibrating bullet with about a 10-metre range and can be used in public for secret foreplay.
G = GOOGLE You’re an inquisitive bunch. South Africans have the third highest search volume for sex toys in the world, according to Google.
H = HEADSETS Headsets are the new handjobs. If you’re a VR porn virgin, Naughty America offers experiences with “performers” you can interact with by attaching your phone to a headset.
I = IPAD Turns out your tablet can deliver a lot more fun than Need For Speed. Fleshlight has designed a frame that you can place your iPad into, with a space to insert a toy, thus transforming your screen into an interactive playmate. R395, mantality.co.za
J = JIGGLE Your nipples are an untapped hotspot. Time to accessorise them to reap the benefits. Nipple clamps that come with a chain – try the Fifty Shades Darker Mercy Chained Nipple Clamps – are designed for couple fun. She gets to decide when to give them a tug or jiggle. You’re at her mercy. Hot. R399, secretcorner.co.za
K = KEGELS There’s a solid reason you want to encourage her to do kegel exercises to tighten her pubococcygeus (PC) muscles, the lovely chaps that are responsible for the contractions she feels during climax. She’ll thank you for this SToy Shake Balls Kegel Exerciser, which can be worn internally and shakes as she moves. R439, matildas.co.za
L = LUBRICANT Let’s talk anal play. It can be like Mexican Food. It hurts, but it’s good. If you’re ready to go there (and check out P to see why you should), then a desensitising lubricant will help ease you into the experience. Massaging it on your rim won’t numb it, but will help you relax. “If you are using a silicon toy, use a water-based lubricant rather than a silicon based one to avoid the material deteriorating,” recommends Amron-Coetzee.
M = MAKE YOUR OWN Ready to clone your penis? It’s no secret that 3D printers are going to change our lives in unimaginable ways. A particularly hot project called DilDIY is working on a programme enabling you to recreate, customise and print your prick.
N = NEUTRAL As in gender neutral. The Transformer Double Ended Vibe is a serious multitasker. It’s a rabbit vibe, a clitoral massager, a cock-ring, a G-spot stimulator, a prostate massager and more. It’s perfect for her, him, her and him, him and him, her and her, and every other combination possible. No judgies. R2 299, desir.co.za
O = ORGASM Want to know how to power yours up? Anal beads (try the friendly looking Flexi Felix Anal Chain if you’re new to this) are easy to insert, but it’s their exit that serves up surprises. Ask her to gently pull it out as you come and prepare to see stars. R458, desir.co.za
P = P-SPOT Hello bum fun. “Prostate massagers are curved to reach the P-spot and massage it. Some also massage the perineum for extra stimulation. Try the Rocks Off Naughty Boy Prostate Stimulator (R1 365) or the Fifty Shades Darker Beyond Erotic Anal Plug (R1095), matildas.co.za
Q = QUESTION How big am I? We’ve all wondered how we size up, and now you have a dependable tool to help you figure out if you’re a Gareth Cliff or a Michael Fassbender. The Condom Size app explains how to measure your girth and length, then allows you to see how you rate on a global scale. R15, Android and iOS
R = RHINO She digs your big horn, but she may love this beast even more. The Rhino Luxury Rabbit Vibrator comes with an app that enables you to sync it with the tunes she finds the sexiest. Download some Marvin Gaye and then sit back and watch as her playmate pulses along to the beat. R1 799, desir.co.za
Related: 5 Things That Only Happen In Porn
S = STRAP-ON Put her in the driving seat for a change with the Tantus Bend Over Beginner Kit. She gets to slip on the velvet harness (which has a smart internal vibrator to ensure she gets her kicks) and then attaches the toy. Strap-ons are muscling their way into relationships, confirms Dr Rascher, but warns “there has to be preexisting trust and intimacy before experimenting with such sex play.” R2 399, ladyfays.co.za
T = TELEDILDONICS If you’ve been looking for an excuse to buy an Apple watch that will fly with her, the Lush Remote Control Vibrator from Lovesense may swing the conversation in your favour. You can control the toy using your watch long distance. So that business trip you’ve got planned shouldn’t be a prob – in fact it’s bound to put a smile on her face. Even better, take your play outside. She can “wear” this little masterpiece while you enjoy a romantic dinner. Checking your watch for messages could double as an opportunity to send a little thrill her way. You won’t last till dessert. POA, adultworld.co.za
U = UPLOADS With the Fleshlight VStroker Virtual Sex System your laptop or PC becomes a sex coach. By transmitting info you generate using a masturbator you are able to work with a “sexy instructor” that will push you to perform and satisfy. R1 495, oliviagrey.co.za
V = VIAGRA While Viagra is sometimes used recreationally to achieve longer erections, you shouldn’t dabble with the blue pill unless you truly need it. “PDE5 inhibitors can be dangerous if used when you have certain medical conditions, or in combination with certain prescription medication and recreational drugs, including nitrites,” warns Dr Rascher. If you are using “Viagra” not prescribed by a doctor you may get contaminated tablets or incorrect dosages, she warns.
W = WASHING You’ve eaten the meal, so you need to wash the dishes, dude. Keep your toys hygienic (and extend the shelf life) by using a toy cleaner such as the anti-bacterial Pjur Med Clean Spray. R315, wildcandy.co.za
X = X-TRA BIG Think of a penis pump as Crossfit for your dick. They can be used for both penis enlargement or to help with erectile dysfunction. The Bathmate Hyromax X30 Penis Pump Bathmate Shower Strap is a handy, hands-free option. Designed to increase both the girth and length of the penis, it can be used in the bath or shower by making use of a vacuum that draws blood into the penis, which creates a larger and longer-lasting erection, while the water assists with blood flow. R2 804, shop.sexplicit.co.za
Y = YES! Over 76% of South Africans have said yes to having used a sex toy.
Z = ZOO COLLECTION Is it a bird, is it a plane? Nope, the Manta Ray Smart Luxury Stroker from the Zoo Collection gives you a Big 5 experience by simply wrapping it around your shaft. The fleshy, textured sensation gives a real feel as you glide it up and down, but you get more bang for your er, buck, using the app on your phone. It responds to music, video and voice and provides a draw option, allowing you to drag your finger on your screen, putting you in charge of the finish line. R1 899, mysexshop.co.za