These Are The Best Sex Positions (& Toys) To Try If You’re A Bigger Guy
If you’re a bigger guy, certain sexual positions may be more challenging for you—but don’t fear, because you can have comfortable and hot sex no matter your size, or your partner’s.
Before we get to those positions, though, let’s talk about body image, which affects men as well as women.
Dylan Thomas, co-host of podcast Life on the Swingset, said in an interview that one of the most prevalent issues for bigger guys is penis perception. Yes, worrying about penis size can impact your sex life right off the bat, before you’re even in the bedroom.
“Men who focus on their own size can get hung up on some of the extra fat surrounding their penis since it makes it look smaller or like it won’t reach an area sufficiently,” said Thomas. He also observed that if a guy’s stomach is in the way of him seeing his penis pre-insertion, he might be less sure of himself.
The result? This tension can get in a guy’s head, and result in, according to Thomas, “a lack of desire for a variety of positions, or a desire for sticking to what already works, especially for penetrative sex. These feelings can also affect confidence, which can affect the ability to get a fuller erection.”
This was echoed by ACS-certified sex educator Elle Chase, author of Curvy Girl Sex, who said, “Men fear ridicule and judgment too. That pre-occupation can sometime lead to an inability to perform in the way they would like or a tendency to avoid sex altogether.”
Confidence and a willingness to experiment with different experiments and tools can go a long way in the bedroom.
The Best Sex Positions for Large Men
Both Thomas and Chase suggested doggy style as an excellent sex position for men of size, especially because, according to Thomas, it doesn’t require as full an erection and can provide easier and deeper penetration. He recommends having the receiving partner brace themselves against a headboard or other solid item. This “makes it easier for the receiving partner to push back and for the penetrating partner to push with more force, resulting in easier insertion and offering more time for a stronger erection.”
Additionally, you can get a better view—because who doesn’t like to watch sometimes?—by kneeling with one leg up, or using pillows or sex furniture to raise or lower the receiver so your heights match up.
For those who love missionary position sex, Thomas recommends making small changes so this popular way of getting it on is even more pleasurable. The missionary position can be modified by moving your partner’s legs onto your shoulders, holding them up in a V, having them put one leg on your shoulder and wrapping the other around you, or having them wrap their arms and legs in a brace position, which can make the position easier for both of you.
Thomas also recommends having the receiver lay on the edge of a bed or couch sideways, while the penetrating partner stands. This allows for side penetration, offers a better view of the action and makes it easier to get into and hold your position.
You can also lay back and have your partner get on top of you in the cowgirl or reverse cowgirl position (bonus: you’ll get quite a hot view as they move up and down).
“The penetrating person kneeling in front of their partner, inserting themselves, and leaning back while grabbing each other’s arms allows for a lot of deep and consistent penetration while being surprisingly comfortable,” said Thomas, with added comfort if the receiver is propped up.
Using Sex Toys and Sex FurnitureSex pillows can help take the strain off your body and assist with certain positions.
An inflatable wedge works well because it keeps the body lifted and supported during prolonged lovemaking. It’s easy to maneuver and can handle the weight and size of men.
For enhanced oral sex, you can place the wedge directly under the hips for lifting the pelvis and lower body. The extra lift and height add an entirely new dimension to receiving oral sex, especially if you’re using it on top of a memory foam mattress.
You’re also not limited to staying strictly in the bedroom.
For sex on the floor or any thinly padded surface, Thomas suggests a soft gym-style mat, which “will help relieve some pressure on the knees while making it possible to dig in a little bit.”Beyond sex furniture, Thomas says that “Anything that helps change relative height between the receiving and penetrating partners can help.
For shower sex, you can get bars that attach to the wall via suction cup and will support your weight as you lean against your partner.
If getting your bodies to align is taking a little longer than you’d like and affecting your stamina or hardness, Thomas recommends using a cock ring, because they “can help maintain a firmer erection for longer, offering a little more time for positioning to take place.”
Adjusting Your Sexual Mindset
You don’t need to deck out your home with a whole new sexual ensemble in order to enjoy fulfilling sex, no matter your height, weight, or body shape. Nor should you feel hesitant about making sure your needs are met, which sometimes can simply involve literally shifting your body.
“Sex is supposed to be fun. If you’re suffering through a certain position for whatever reason, you can’t be in the moment enjoying yourself,” said Chase. “Making accommodations so sex is easier and more comfortable happens all the time and no one gives it a second thought. Adjusting or moving your fat may seem like a big deal to you, but most likely it your partner doesn’t notice or doesn’t care.”
That being said, there may be positions that simply aren’t optimized for your size—and that’s okay, too. Thomas stressed that “all bodies have their limitations across size, age and ability” and recommends you “focus more on accepting those limitations and working with them, instead of around them,” which “can make it easier to be a little more inventive and a little more playful.”
Rachel Kramer Bussel (rachelkramerbussel.com) writes about sex, dating, books and pop culture.