Experts Weigh In On Which Secrets To Keep From Her And Which To Confess
Got a sex secret of your own? You’re not alone – up to 83% of men have similar secrets.
Therapists, professors, sex therapists, psychologists, authors and a couple thousand twitter users who were polled weigh in on the secrets worth keeping and the ones that need to be told.
69% of men hide their masturbation frequency
Don’t tell: How often you masturbate.
As long as you have satisfying sex with your partner and feel connected to her, then she doesn’t need to know. (Besides, she probably already does.)
83% have been secretly attracted to a woman other than their partner
Don’t tell: Your attraction to others.
No plans to act on it, right? Then keep it to yourself. It may hurt her feelings and isn’t likely to bring you two closer.
14% have had sex with a prostitute without their wife’s/girlfriend’s knowledge
Don’t tell: Your one-night stand. But only if it truly was a one-time thing and you have no intention – like, really, none – of repeating it. Can’t handle the guilt? Confess to a therapist, not her.
Maybe tell: Your number. If it concerns her safety or if she shares hers, tell her. If she balks, say “You don’t get to decide what my behaviour means to me – I do. And I’m telling you that you’re special.”
Maybe tell: That stupid thing you did at varsity. Hiding it may make it seem bigger than it actually is. Say, “Can I tell you something I’ve never told anyone?” This sets her up for deeper intimacy.
36% of men have faked orgasm
Tell: Your struggle with ED or low desire. This affects your partner too. Men tend to keep secrets to protect their male ego – but honesty makes you more of a man, not less of one.
6% are hiding their true sexual orientation
Tell: You’re secretly bisexual. Being authentic is important. Don’t sweat the timing – it’ll never be perfect. Find the support you need, and remember that short-term discomfort can lead to long-term connection.
68% of men hide their porn watching habits from their partner
Tell: Your porn habit. No need to leave the browser window open, but if she finds out she may wonder why you felt the need to hide it. Ask what her boundaries are regarding porn.
58% secretly want to have a threesome with their wife/ girlfriend and another woman
37% hide a fetish from their partner
Tell: Your fetish or sexual fantasy. You want her to try it with you, right? It just won’t happen if you never share. Need a segue? Tell her you saw this article in Men’s Health and it gave you the courage to bring it up.
Sources: Tara Fields, therapist; Professor Marty Klein, sex therapist; Les Parrott, psychologist; Professor Holly Richmond, sex therapist; Michael Salas, sex therapist; Foojan Zeine, psychologist, author of Life Reset. Stats: Polls of 1 400 to 4 650 Twitter users.