It’s Not You, It’s Summer: Bring On The Break-Up Season
As summer slowly files in, we begin to approach that time of year where libidos are high as the sunlight increases the levels of serotonin and dopamine; which are known as mood and arousal ‘thermostats’.
Testosterone production is also enhanced by the light and people start wearing fewer clothes, it is during summer that you will most likely attend summer parties, weddings and go on holidays.
However it is also the period where people start to reflect on their relationships.
Why? You might ask.
It’s the “playful’’ time of the year as it’s warm and the desire to be free is triggered or as a result of all of the vacation and adventure, you could end up cheating which could lead to a break-up.
Surprising or you just don’t care? 14 celebrities broke up in summer this year.
Here are a few tips on how to end a relationship like a man and enjoy your new found freedom- worry free.
Talk Early & Often
The first time your partner is made aware that you have issues with how things are going, should not be the actual break-up.
Instead of staying mum and suffering through the issues until you cannot take it anymore, bring up issues with your partner as they come up.
Everyone deserves to hear where they are coming up short and real men aren’t afraid to clearly communicate their grievances when it is necessary.
If you cannot work things out and the relationship must end, yes your partner might still feel hurt; but you have a strong case as to why you’re better off apart.
Always End It in Person
If you can’t handle the prospect of ending a relationship in person, you shouldn’t start one in the first place.
You should not be ending the relationship over the phone or through an e-mail or text message, although more and more men are finding this medium appropriate for severing ties.
Select a time and place to meet, and be sure to give her your full attention, because she deserves it. Yes it will be awkward and uneasy but you should give everyone that you enter into a relationship with the necessary respect with a discussion face-to-face.
Yes that does mean that you cannot be vague or mysterious as your lady friend will most likely want some specific reasons as to why you want to end things, so be prepared to provide them.
Avoid answers like, “I’m just not feeling it anymore,” which shows that you’re narcissist or a coward, but not very manly.
You don’t need a record of wrongs, but having a mental list of things that led you down this road will help the discussion move in the right direction.
Do not confuse clarity and cruelty, as the song goes “breaking up is never easy, I know”. So do not make it tough on yourself by demeaning or berating your soon to be ex-partner. No, it’s not the time to inform her about the dress she wore on your anniversary which you thought made her look fat.
Try and point out some positive things that came out of the relationship, unless it was dreadful from the beginning to end but I am sure there are some good traits that your partner had which could be mentioned.
Strive to be as much of a gentleman when ending things as you were when you started it.
No False Hope
No one likes uncertainty and giving someone false hope is just cruel.
In the same way, men tend to leave the relationship in an unsettled manner with words that leave a glint of hope that indicates a possibility of things picking up again in the future.
Is it over? Is it not? No one knows. Although phrases like “Maybe down the road,” or “Just not right now,” may be kinder and gentler; it could end up being cruel if they’re not an accurate representation of your feelings.
If you are not clear, your partner may think you just need some space and once you’ve had time to cool down, things will come around. She’ll spend her time waiting on you to get through your ‘’phase’’ meanwhile you want to get far far away.
“Be fair to your partner and cut ties completely so they can go on with their lives and you can go on with yours.”
Sources: Medical Daily, Art of Manliness