Here’s Why You May Have A Fetish, And How It Can Lead To Better Sex

Different strokes for different folks.

Chandre Davids |

What’s your fantasy? Chances are you’ll probably go with something along the lines of a threesome, or naughty nurse, or maybe something kinky like sex in a location where you could possibly be caught? When it comes to sex, there are many things that can get one ‘there’.

Given that there are over 7 billion people in the world, there’s a whole lot of ‘different strokes for different folks’. Even if you aren’t willing to admit it, there might be something that really gets you turned on like no other. And provided that desires aren’t illegal or causing harm to a living creature, then your kink is probably relatively ‘normal’.

Related: What She Wants In Bed That Will Make Sex Better For You Too

What is a fetish?

Do you like the sight of your partner in high heels during sex? Has it become a key factor in your sexual pleasure? Then chances are you might have a shoe fetish. A fetish refers to sexual excitement in response to an object or body part that is not usually seen as sexual, like shoes or feet. It’s possible to fetishise anything, some go as far as blueberries and furries (google at your own risk). But there are more common fetishes that some might not even realise are kinks or fetishes.

Related: Here’s Why You Should Be Having Sex In The Morning


Foot fetishes are actually common amongst heterosexual men.  Some with a foot fetish might become aroused by anything related to feet. It often involves foot worship, such as kissing or massaging. There might also be the desire to have feet rubbed against parts of your body. If you find that you love feet, be sure to talk your partner about including it in your sexual activities.

Psychology Today suggests that you appeal to your partner’s sexual-self. For example, if your partner is adventurous in bed, then you would need to appeal to their adventurous side, “praise their adventurousness and suggest your kink as an adventure”. They suggest you introduce your fetish in small ways, thus easing your partner into what you like. So, instead of jumping into giving or receiving a footjob, suggest to your partner that you give each other foot massages or progress that sexy selfie into sexy feet selfies.

Related: Take These 4 Sex Positions From Average To Amazing With These Workouts


Are you into dress-up and make-believe? Role-playing involves dressing up as characters as part of a sex scene. Common examples include medical roleplay (naughty nurse/doctor), boss/secretary. Role-play doesn’t always have to involve costumes, scenes can be created through dirty talk and just your imagination. Anyone keen on re-enacting a Game of Thrones scene?

Related: 8 Ways To Be A Gentleman After Sex

Voyeurism and Exhibitionism

Voyeurs enjoy watching others get it on. Whereas exhibitionists enjoy being watched. When engaging in these activities, it’s important that it is consensual, otherwise, you’re just a Peeping Tom who’s going to end up in jail. If you and your partner are keen to give voyeurism and exhibitionism a try, you could watch each other masturbate– talk about mutual pleasure!

Related: Should You Sext Her? Plus 3 Steps To Master Sexting


Remember that Rihanna song that goes some like “chains and whips excite me”? Well, for some people that rings true. BDSM includes bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D&S), and sadism & masochism (S&M). BDSM can mean a lot of different things for people.

For some, it might involve simply being tied to the bed, and for others it could involve pain through spanking and whipping. If you are looking to channel your inner Christian Grey, talk to your partner about it. You guys could start off with some sensory deprivation (blindfolding), or light bondage. The possibilities are endless, just be sure to do your research to ensure that you are practising BDSM safely.

Related: Sex Tips: What To Do When She’s On Top


Most men can appreciate a toned and perky butt but some men have a special preference for biggest, uh, assets. It’s a common belief that this may be due to evolution, and goes back to primate days when bigger hips meant that a woman could have strong healthy children.  Butt stuff has become a lot less taboo, so if you’re an ass man you could talk to your partner about trying anal and doing it  in positions that show more of her ass. 


Try something new this lockdown: The Men-X Index Prostate Massager comes with 10 functions and wired control.

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