‘Talk Dirty To Me’

Men's Health |

As feigned as it might sound when you read it, just admit that we all love a ‘lil dirty talk from time to time, be it in the comfort of your own home or when you’re out with friends and whisper something naughty in your partners ear and watch her blush.

I am sure you know what I am talking about (wink wink).

Let’s not forget the dirty talk that occurs within the sack, things can get heated and you can lose yourself in the passion and say things that you would not normally say out loud.

However researchers have discovered that there could be more to our lust for bringing out that delirious side.

Firstly they looked at where it all begins how and why and this is what they found out about the ‘science’ behind dirty talk.

Sex on the Brain

It all begins with your mind, as contrary to popular believe your brain is considered more of a sexual organ than male or female genitalia; as that is where your sex drive originates from.

Although there is a difference in how each gender’s limbic system (It controls the basic emotions (fear, pleasure, anger and drives hunger, sex, dominance, care of offspring) functions in the brain by using just the right amount of dirty talk could give your mind a thrill.

According to a study published in the Hormone Research journal, researchers found that the hypothalamus, the preoptic area and the superchiasmatic nucleus, are very distinct when it comes to female and male brains.

“The preoptic area, involved in mating behaviour, is over two times larger in men than women and contains two times more cells”.

The difference between male and female superchaismatic nucleus is that it differs in shape as males have a sphere- like shaped nucleus and women have more of a long shaped nucleus.

How does this affect your sex drive? For you (men) it means that you have more testosterone to prompt desire for sex whilst women have lower testosterone levels and a smaller hypothalamus; which results their sex drive being weaker than a man’s.

Daryl Cioffi, who specializes in sex, couples, neurology and relationships, says that dirty talk is not a whole body and mind experience, those subtle whispers, moans, and screams that go hand- in- hand with some dirty talk are all processed by your mind as it’s an erogenous zone,.

Dr. Ava Cadell, urges that couples should engage in dirty talk to increase their arousal and share their fantasies.

So go on and ask your partner what they desire from you and say what you desire from them as this is a good way to keep the verbal communication open; which moves us on to the next topic; communication, baby.

Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby

Now, do not confuse dirty talk with communication, as it involves two different mind-sets, as experts say that, “Dirty talk is something we do by ourselves, as opposed to physical sex acts.”

A study published in the 2012 journal of Social and Personal Relationships; found that the more comfortable you are about talking about sex, the more satisfying your sex life will be.

According to the researchers, “even the slightest anxiety about communication affected whether partners were communicating or not. It also directly affected their satisfaction. Those who did communicate during sex were more likely to experience sexual satisfaction.”

It’s simple as more engagement equals a better sexual experience, and once you master the art of dirty talk, your might arouse your partner to the point of an orgasm without genital stimulation.

‘A Lady In The Street But a Freak In The Bed’

What is known as the ‘’good-girl” complex, with songs like Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” and Usher’s “Yeah”, culture has taken the idea and turned into something else. “Sex always seems to be the line that the “good girl” crosses where they just have to screw someone in order to be considered a “bad girl.”

Dirty talk allows your partner and women in general an opportunity to break this mind-set and voice their fantasies without feeling judged or ashamed.

As some women might be turned on by words such as ‘’slut’’ even if they dislike the word outside of the bedroom but it gives both you the chance to reveal your bedroom persona’s as someone who is usually strict and disciplined in their everyday lives.

This lets you loosen up by revelling in being tied-up or called a certain name when they would not indulge in such behaviour.

Dr Fran Walfish says “A woman who calls up her partner at work to say to him “when you come home sweetheart, I’m going to let you tie me to the bedpost, handcuff me, and arrest me, is vocalizing her fantasy outside the bedroom.”

Intimacy and Dirty Talk

What do you think sex should be like? According to Medical Daily, “Sex is supposed to be dirty, erotic, and most of all fun.”

Dirty talk will allow you to express those wild, deep and darkest fantasies that you keep to yourself and would never share otherwise.

Why it’s great for couples? Because, bro it will manifest intimacy within the relationship and could also be used as a way to work things out and will serve as a prelude to what could be some great sex.

Get your dirty talk on.

Sources: Medical Daily, Social and Personal Relationships, Hormone Research

Alice Paulse