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In perhaps the best news to come out of a scientific journal this year, Canadian researchers recently found that women are more interested in sex than their partners realise.
For the study, scientists asked people in relationships to rate their sexual desire—and guess their partners’ levels of arousal—every day for three weeks.
The men consistently underestimated how much their wives and girlfriends wanted to do it on a daily basis.
Just think: That means when you assume she’s a 3 on a 10-point scale of horniness, she might really be at a 6. That could be the difference between falling asleep to John Oliver and scoring a Tuesday night romp on the living room floor.
How could you be so clueless about your own partner’s desire?
According to study author Amy Muise, Ph.D., sometimes a woman doesn’t make a move even when she’s turned on—maybe because she’s gotten used to relying on you to initiate.
Or it’s possible that her attempts to get physical are so subtle that you don’t notice, Muise says. For example, she might slide up next to you on the couch—but you don’t reciprocate the affection, and then she gives up.
There’s only one way to find out where she really falls on that horny scale, Muise says: Just ask. The worst you could get is a “no” — and research suggests you’ll get more “yeses” than you’d expect.