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Touch is a woman’s primary trigger for desire, according to a study in the Journal of Sex Research. “With the other senses, you’re not necessarily engaged while your partner experiences it,” says Sitron. “But touch is reciprocal: you can feel me touching you while I experience touching you.”
Take advantage with a sex therapy technique called “sensate focus.” Have your partner lie flat on her back with her eyes closed, and slowly caress her head and face – hair, nose, ears, lips; cover it all. “Pretend this is your last chance to savour her body,” says Sitron. Move to her torso and legs and feet, then flip her over and repeat.
The point is to chart new erotic territory. “The genitals, breasts, and inner thighs have the most nerve receptors, so they’re most sensitive,” says social psychologist Dr Justin Lehmille. “But almost any body part can become erotic if you learn to associate it with sexual pleasure.”