A new University of Dayton study analysed married couples’ use of dirty words and its correlation to happiness and closeness.

How does your sexual glossary stack up?

Clinical

Copulate, cunnilingus, fellatio, labia, semen, testicles. Doc talk isn’t sexy. But if she asks to “fellate” you, don’t poke fun – any communication is better than none.

Erotic

Masturbate, vagina, climax, ejaculate, a safe bet. These are slightly more risqué than everyday terms, but they don’t scream “porn star” either.

Oral sex slang

Give head, go down, clit, eat out. Let her initiate the oral euphemisms.

Everyday

Nipples, penis, breasts, make love. This is your safety zone – sufficiently sexy but totally inoffensive.

Crude

Pussy, tits, cum, ass, balls, blow job, dick. Only after she uses crude terms should they be fair game.