What a time to be alive

Would you pay 1000 bucks to dispense your own creamer?

An oral sex café is opening in London as Brits brace themselves to experience their first orgasmic latte. The store, tentatively dubbed the Fellatio Café, plans to serve up coffee and pastries with a happy ending from 6 a.m. to 11 p.m., according to The Huffington Post.
Owner Bradley Charvet plans to offer sensual combos such as a Cafe Americano with a 15-minute “session.”

“We did not want to change anyone’s routine; we just wanted to introduce another idea, another concept,” Charvet told The Huffington Post. “Our goal was not to compete with London’s escorts so we settled on a price in keeping with that market.”
While the news caught many of us with our pants down, Charvet was set to launch a Geneva-based Fellatio Café last Monday (there’s no word yet on the climax of the project).

Blowjob bars such as Bangkok’s Dr. BJ’s Salon are more commonplace in Thailand.

But there’s a twist: Charvet uses robots rather than human beings to circumvent sex work laws, such as the UK’s ban on brothels. The plastic women have warm genitalia—presumably to keep your breakfast burrito from going soft.

We have a few questions as the Fellatio Cafe is being, uh, erected.

To start, Charvet told the Huffington Post that some patrons will get the mechanical mouth treatment in two “box-like areas,” but most will get serviced at the bar.

Can you imagine the barstool banter? “Hey Jim, what about Manchester United? Also, how’s that bionic tongue action treating you?”

Even more questionable is the hygiene of it: How many times has a Starbucks barista gotten your order wrong? Would you trust every barista you ever met to adequately clean and sanitise the doll’s mouth when the last guy doesn’t leave room for cream?

Of course, we only noticed this story because we have a Google Alert for “sex robots.”