In the game of love, it pays to cheat once in a while. But not that way! Done right, a little dash of fakery can spice up your relationship (and your sex life too).
Your mate asks you what you think of her decidedly pudgy body.
Her question has an emotional subtext, says psychiatrist Dr Paul Dobransky, ofmenspsychology.com. It’s not about her weight, it’s about the depth of your regard for her. So answer the question she’s really asking.
When you say, “Your body is one of the wonders of the world” and back it up with a lustful stare, she’ll try to live up to that – at the gym.
She wants to go to a ballet, museum, or some other thing you’re not into.
Don’t let on that you think it’s a snooze, says Dr Patricia Covalt, the author of What Smart Couples Know (R203, loot.co.za). “Show support and go along.” Ask specific questions, like which painting was her favourite. That shows you care.
The pay off
She’ll support your oddities next time, Covalt says. And by making an effort to be interested, you’ll relate to her better.
It feels as if your relationship is in need of a five-alarm wake-up call.
The fake compliments can reignite your love. Even if it feels phony, compliment her about something new every day, says Dr Paul Rose, chairman of the department of psychology at Southern Illinois University at Edwardsville.
Your relationship will feel fresh as you discover her new qualities, Rose says. And she’ll be happy you’re paying close attention.
Her favorite sex act is as arousing for you as a pair of granny panties.
Give it a go, Dr Dobransky says. Even if you hate it at first, try it three times before you give up. “Focus on how you’re making her feel,” Dr Dobransky says. “That is a Rosetta Stone for what men and women want in the bedroom.”
You may end up liking it after all, Dr Dobransky says. And her turn-on is likely to
stoke your fires. Bonus: your turn!