Of the many embarrassing things we try to conceal from our partners, passing gas is probably the most awkward. So when is it okay to start breaking wind in front of your partner? I have friends who hot box their partners under the duvets and think it’s “hi-la-ri-ous”; they’re about one in 15. For the rest, it’s an intimacy we’d rather not share. Yes, a decade of togetherness leaves few bodily illusions, but then it’s even more important to hold on to some mystery – so do your best to keep your emissions to yourself. If one slips, laugh it off, apologise, and change the subject. And if she accidentally lets one go? You didn’t hear or smell or see anything. Understand?