Think your office is weird? Try working with a bunch of researchers who touch rat clitorises all day.

Research presented at this summer’s World Science Festival found that clitoral stimulation activates the same brain areas in rats as in humans, even when they don’t have hormones.

OK, that’s interesting, but to activate the areas between her ears, you’ll need to do some work between her legs. Here are three things you should know about the orgasm-powerhouse.

It’s not part of foreplay

“The woman should be warmed-up first,” explains Ian Kerner, Ph.D., and author of She Comes First. “Don’t go straight for the clitoris.” And no, 2 minutes of kissing is NOT foreplay. Start by kissing her nipples and gradually work your way south. Increasing blood flow to the pelvic area first will make her less sensitive—and more passionate—when you reach the clitoris.

Stop thinking of it as a little bump

“There are thousands of nerve endings behind the head of the clitoris, and they extend throughout the pelvic area.” So, you shouldn’t think of her orgasms in terms of “clitoral orgasms,” “vaginal orgasms,” or “g-spot orgasms.” The clitoris is behind all of them. In fact, researchers think that the g-spot is an extension of the clitoris. (Cool huh?)

On that note, don’t limit your activity to the head of the clitoris. Next time you give her oral, try focusing on the area millimeters above it. “This area has a lot of nerve endings, too,” says Kerner.

Forget what you’ve seen in porn

Slow and steady is the way to go. “Find a slow, persistent rhythm that works,” says Kerner. And stick with it. “Women need to disconnect and relax in order to orgasm,” he says.” If you keep changing your tongue (or finger) technique—which is common in porn—you’ll break her relaxation and she won’t be able to let-go and climax.