And three other things that will make you go ooh…

“What’s There to Think About?”

Think too hard and you’ll go soft. Men who stress about their performance in bed may be more prone to difficulties becoming and staying sexually aroused, a 2011 Canadian study found. “Anxiety is not a sexy feeling,” says study author Dr Andrea Nelson. “If you’re monitoring your erection, you’re much less able to enjoy the erotic aspects of sex, and that makes it difficult to maintain arousal.” Instead of trying to consciously suppress thoughts that aren’t erotic, refocus on the hot details, she says.

The new oral sex

Vibrate your vocal cords: a new Albright College study reveals that women prefer their pillow talk before sex. When surveyed about pre-and post-coital activities, women rated intimate talk as “significantly more important” before sex than after. “She may want to talk before sex to assess your level of commitment,” says study author Dr Susan Hughes. Don’t just roll over afterwards, though. Staying awake after sex will help the two of you bond.

Spooners anonymous

Hey, tough guy, you’ve been busted: men value cuddling more than women do, a new study in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour concludes. The researchers found that frequent kissing and cuddling increased the likelihood of relationship happiness in men, while no such link existed in women. In the long term, men may have a greater need for non-sexual contact, the scientists say. So go ahead, sidle up: snuggling was related to her sexual satisfaction.

How She Feels about Porn

A new survey of more than 1 000 women in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour helps explain their reactions to the X-rated world.

35% – I’m interested to learn what excites him
24% – We’ve become more open to trying new things
23% – Porn makes it easier to discuss sexual desires
20% – I’m turned on by what I see
13% – We have sex more often because of porn

42% – I worry I might not be satisfying his needs
35% – His porn use makes me feel
28% – It’s demeaning to women
25% – It becomes habitual
17% – I feel pressure to perform sexual acts