More Useful Stuff
Our resident expert Amelia Frenkel, sheds some light on these common concerns all of us have had at some stage or another.
Food play in the bedroom: sexy or just gross? Mphoza
Experimenting is totally sexy. Though sometimes the idea is hotter than the practicality of real life (like getting honey in your hair…). So if you’re ready to try it, be prepared to get a little sticky and not take yourselves too seriously. Start by feeding and kissing each other – berries and grapes are perfect. Then drip something light and sweet, like whipped cream or chocolate syrup, over her breasts (but avoid getting any of it internally). While you’re raiding the kitchen, grab some ice blocks. They’re “safe”, less mess and wake up her senses.
I’m ready to end a casual fling. Is this something I have to do in person? Dustin
As long as you were clear that this was no-strings-attached, she won’t be surprised when you call it. Next time she gets in touch for a hook-up, tell her it’s been really fun, but that you don’t see this going anywhere. Keep it short and sweet, just like your fling was.
My roommate and his girl are way too public with their displays of affection. Can I tell him to tone it down? Simon
If they’re being too touchy and loving in your shared space, that’s one thing and you may just need to relax. But if their PDA extends to face-locking at Friday night drinks with mates or they’re dry-humping while you’re all watching True Detective, that’s just plain antisocial. Pick a moment when it’s justified (and won’t seem crabby and jealous) for the “get a room” joke, then bring it up when the two of you are alone. Tell him you feel uncomfortable and that it’s changing your habits at home and how you interact with them.
The girl I’m dating has an Instagram feed loaded with racy photos of her. Would I sound insecure if I asked her to remove them? Reagon
Insecure, maybe. Controlling? Definitely. If it was pre-relationship, then you wouldn’t have much of a case. But if she’s still seeking affirmation through strangers’ likes, she may be the one who’s insecure. Once you’ve told her how you feel, respect her decision. When you find you’re having trouble doing that, it may be a sign that you have different social media boundaries. Then you’ll have to decide whether those differences are dealbreakers.
Why are so many women against doggy style? Simphiwe
It’s a combination of things, one being that you’re not making eye contact (which builds a connection, stimulates intimacy and assists in gauging satisfaction), and another being the actual position. She’d have to feel pretty confident – either in her body, your relationship, or both – to hoist her derriere in the air. Plus, you control the depth and pace, which is not a negative if you use them both skillfully. Doggystyle with both your torsos together (either upright or flat on the bed) makes a physical feeling of closeness and gives you access to her neck to kiss, while you touch and talk to her. Upgrade: do it in front of a mirror, which gives her a view too.