By MH Staff - Posted on 28th October 2013
Use the scale below to find her limits, then inch them a little further…
The kinkiest thing you’ve found in her bedroom is the cord of her headphones. What next? If you’re curious to experiment, watch for her placing her hands above her head in bed. “It’s a very passive position,” says sexual therapist Jenny Edwards. “She is giving you access to her most vulnerable areas.”
Her wrists have known the peculiar caress of furry handcuffs but experimentation rarely goes further than novelty gifts. What next? Test if she wants to progress things by asking her, “Do you like being a dirty girl?” says Veaux. If she’s turned on by it, slowly ramp up the language. When she hesitates, you’re close to her limit.
She’s no stranger to studded, vibrating, nine-tailed fun in the bedroom. What next? Your cue to strap in for more extreme experiences is when she makes prolonged eye contact while she’s in character. “Women are culturally trained to break eye contact and look away to indicate submission,” says psychologist Dr Mark Goulston, author of The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship (R207, kalahari.com). “Breaking this code indicates defiance.” The boundaries can move.
There is nothing in Fifty Shades of Grey that the two of you haven’t tried. Pain, submission and dominance are to you what the missionary position is to everyone else. What next? “Remember to think of kinky sex as a circle, not a line,” says Dr Magnati. If you’re always pushing the boundaries, it can become unsafe. “Things that were exciting when you started can be fun again.” Refresh your memory with suggestions 1-11, above.