Don’t let their fantasies mess with your reality
By Gus Turner

One of the primary concerns about porn consumption is how it affects our expectations of a real-life sexual experience. So, in an interview with the Daily Mercury, a small Australian tabloid, adult film stars Lucie Bee, Ryan James, and Luc Dean revealed what it’s like to work in the porn industry, and how that experience has carried over to their personal sex lives.

These three lent their insight on the topic, unsurprisingly confirming that, yes, there should be some differences between what’s happening between the actors on-set, and what’s happening between you and your significant other.

“My ‘fun buddies’ who don’t work in the industry will say, ‘Can we do x, y, z?’ that they’ve seen in porn and I’ll say, ‘Sure, but you won’t enjoy it!'” Dean told the paper. “It looks good on camera, but it’s fantasy.”

That illusion even sells short just how good real sex can be, they say, as the intimate nuances of unedited sex get lost on the cutting room floor.

“Real sex is not perfect and it’s not meant to be,” Bee said. “There are those hilarious moments when you’re sitting on a chair and someone slips, and intensity, eye contact and passion. I don’t think porn has really captured that on screen.”

Still, there have been some benefits to their work, as they explained how it has helped them assert their sexual needs and boundaries with more confidence. Bee says that her job has helped her develop one of the most essential traits of any successful sexual relationship: communication.

“Porn has given me the ability to have a frank discussion with my partners, both in real life and on screen, and what works for me and what doesn’t,” she said.

It’s also helped them be more attentive to their partners, and to listen to their needs without judgment.

“I would say you shouldn’t try to replicate what you see in porn just because you think it looks good,” Ryan said. “If one partner doesn’t want to do something, they should never feel the need to explain themselves. The focus should be on what both partners enjoy doing.”

Originally published on menshealth.com