Starting with the safe words to the words that will make an ass of yourself:

Bum
Cute, simple and 
uncontroversial. Should 
be your go-to word

Arse
The right mix of rough and sexy. Resist the temptation to sub with “ass”; this ain’t Cali

Bottom
Reassuringly polite and just on the right side of British. Give the Carry On movie Sid James cackle 
a miss

Booty
Requires confidence and 
a tongue firmly in (the other) cheek, but fine 
to use in praise of size

Glutes
Inadvisable, unless you’re talking squats

Backside
Roll out during 1970s based role-play only

Butt
Simply not sexy when uttered in any South 
African accent. For chiselled American jocks only

Can
No can do. Ever

Jelly
Just two syllables, one relationship pink slip

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