More and more women are feeling the confidence to tap into the kind of sex they really want.

Tame Your Tongue

Men enjoy tongue play; it mimics penetration. But guys can be too aggressive, says sex therapist Dr Aline Zoldbrod. Women, by comparison, start softly, with teasing and sensual sucking. “It’s all about timing, pacing and a gentle beginning,” she says.

Savour Her Entire Body

Quickly zeroing in on her hot spots can derail her arousal, says Zoldbrod. “Men and women enjoy different types of touch, which may be the reason straight women enjoy same-sex experimenting,” she says. “A woman touching another woman takes her time with light kissing and gentle touching of non-genital areas, such as hair, shoulders and arms.”

Let Her Decide

Lesbians have sex less often yet are more sexually satisfied than straight women, a Rutgers study found. In heterosexual relationships, women may hesitate to say no and end up having unwanted sex. Reassure her that you don’t expect to hook up every time you hang out. This puts her in control, which can boost her libido, says Zoldbrod.

Take Your Time

Women agree: the big O is awesome. But so is the rest of sex. “Men are very orgasm-centric,” says Dr Victoria Zdrok Wilson, author of The 30-Day Sex Solution. “But when women interact, it’s more about the process of experiencing each other. They’re likely to explore and they know there’s no exact formula.”

Embrace Her Vibe

Some straight women fear that their partners might be threatened by sex toys, an Indiana University study reveals. “We didn’t have lesbian women saying that,” says author Dr Debby Herbenick. If she brings out her toy, welcome it!