How music can make a dancefloor kiss feel like sex in public

The night when Evan kissed me on the club’s dance floor, I was wearing a silk dress that brushed like a whisper across my body, making me feel sexy and free. I’d just stepped off the floor when I saw Evan, my ex, on a couch with a drink and a friend. “Want to dance?” he called out over the thumping bass.

I nodded, and then he was behind me, the whisper of my dress now silenced by the press of his body. “Dancing with you reminds me just how sexy you can be,” he murmured, or probably shouted, though only I could hear him. Then he tilted my head back and kissed me. In that moment, the pounding beat occupied my body; the energy of the room became the force of our kiss. It was electrifying.

That surge wasn’t just lust. The music had hijacked my brain – in a good way. Neurologists say the chills triggered by music are a type of brain response similar to those seen during sex. The eroticism of music, combined with Evan’s intimate touch and the thrill of being on public display, transformed his simple kiss into an insanely pleasurable, total body experience.

The mash of bodies made me feel both protected and exposed in an arousing, anything-can- happen kind of way. I was free to lose myself in the kiss, to let go despite the risk of being seen. There wasn’t a drop of alcohol in my system that night – it was the music that gave my body permission to surrender.

Press “play” for sex

Music as sexual lubricant? Here’s what women – and science – tell us. Watch the sex scene from Top Gun on YouTube. Then hit mute and watch it again. It’s not as hot without “Take My Breath Away,” is it? Women agree: two-thirds of the women we surveyed said music during foreplay helps turn them on faster. (More than half said sex lasts longer when it has a soundtrack.) “Music sets the tempo for sex, making it more of a joint activity,” says Elizabeth Rae Larson, sex therapist. But the wrong tunes can backfire. Women told us you should start with sweetly suggestive music, and then ease your way into tunes that match the desired tone of your romp – kinky, romantic, energetic.

What If You Hate Her Music?

Or if she hates yours? You can work it out…
She loves Ke$ha, you love Kurt Darren. Are you doomed? A study from Taiwan found that sharing musical tastes can intensify attraction, but a clashing of tastes has no effect. In our survey, 37% of women said it doesn’t matter if your playlists sync up (only 16% said it’s crucial). So share your songs and listen to new stuff together, says Dr Gail Saltz, a New York City psychiatrist. Joint exploration can be exciting. “Women are more likely to be sexually turned on when they feel like they’re mentally connecting,” she says.

Peek at her iPod

Most likely to put out on a first date
Nirvana • Metallica • Linkin Park • Kanye West • Gorillaz • Daft Punk • Eminem • Pink Floyd

Least likely to put out on a first date
Coldplay • Adele • Lady Gaga • Katy Perry • Kings of Leon • The Strokes • Radiohead • Muse