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You’ve done the deed. It was good and now all you want to do is roll over and fall into the sleep of kings. But something tells you that’s not what she has in mind. We asked a group of bedroom experts to give us three ways to bask in her afterglow…
Soothe with one touch
The number one thing women crave after sex is bodily contact. But this doesn’t mean a sweaty hug; women prefer kissing and caressing. “After sex, the brain floods her body with oxytocin, known as the ‘touching hormone’,” says Dr Susan Hughes, author of Sex Differences in Post-Coital Behaviours.
Avoid her sensitive areas, like breasts and nipples, which can increase in sensitivity by 25% during sex. Instead, focus on the small of her back. Gently massaging her there will reassure her subconscious that you’re not going to get up and leave. It’ll also increase the blood flow to her pelvic region.
Guarantee a replay
Women are more likely to want to go again immediately because blood drains more slowly from the vagina than the penis. Meaning? She’ll be aroused for longer, says psychologist Dr Barry Komisaruk. “During orgasm her nucleus accumbens – linked to her brain’s reward system – is activated. There’s also activity in her anterior cingulate cortex, linked to pleasure.” She just can’t get enough of you.
Avoid any position where you’re putting too much pressure on her clitoris, which will be sensitive after orgasm. Instead, sit up, pulling her on top of you. This will give plenty of the skin contact and kissing she craves.
Talk your way to trust
The last thing you want to do after a performance is chat. But guess what? That’s exactly what she wants. “This boils down to a need for reassurance,” says psychologist Anjula Mutanda. “Women use talking, as part of their intimacy, as part of their currency.” Komisaruk confirms that there is “heightened activity in the amygdala and the hypothalamus – the areas of the brain that process emotion – during sex”. This increases her need for conversation and emotional reassurance.
Spoon her from behind and whisper in her ear. She’ll feel like you’re telling her a secret, and will relax into you. That’s when you start telling her how hot she just was, and get her mind back in the game.