Her Sex Fantasies could open up a brave new world for your love life, and understanding what she wants might help you to get yours
By MH Staff - Posted on 24th February 2014
Unlock her most intimate desires for the sex of your – and her – dreams.
HER FANTASY: “I’m sitting on my balcony and watching the neighbour across the way. I start to masturbate, and he joins in.” Lucy, 33. WHY? “It’s the best way to show you what she likes,” says sexologist Sandor Gardos. “Stimulating you while she brings herself to orgasm gives her an immensely sexy feeling and that heightens her pleasure.” MAKE IT HAPPEN: During foreplay, take your hand and place it under hers. Move your hands together, slowly, towards her clitoris. After a while, take your hand away and signal for her to continue while you shift your attention to the rest of her body. When she’s in the swing of things, take a step back and enjoy the show. Want to help and watch at the same time? “Play with yourself,” suggests Gardos. “For many women, that’s one of the most stimulating things to watch.”
HER FANTASY : “Being taken by a dominating man who knows what I want. I’m bound and blindfolded and must do everything he demands.” Arianne, 26. WHY? Blame Fifty Shades of Grey. The mega-bestselling book about the young, handsome S&M specialist Christian Grey has driven women around the world crazy. Do all those women want to be bound and hit? Not at all. “Intercourse ensures that a woman sees herself as an object of desire; the idea of being bound and being submissive helps her in this role,” claims Carol Queen, author of Exhibitionism for the Shy (R175, Kalahari). Bonus: a well-timed spank on the bottom can also stimulate the nerve endings in her vagina. Warning: be kinky, but gentle. Barely 1% of the women we surveyed said they wanted to try choking games. MAKE IT HAPPEN : “During a heated kissing session, grab her wrists and hold them with one hand above her head,” says Ava Cadell, sex therapist and author of The Sexy Little Book of Sex Games (R163, Kalahari). Use your other hand to touch her body, then tie her wrists together with something nearby (like a tie). “For something kinkier, try a collar or handcuffs or whatever else you’d like to try,” advises Cadell.
HER FANTASY : “My boyfriend and I are having sex in a car when a police car pulls up alongside us. A male and a female officer get out, but instead of arresting us they join in the fun.” Annet, 27. WHY? For some people, introducing a sex toy is a pretty big step – so why would they want to add a whole other person? “The reason is simple,” says Gardos. “The more stimuli, the better the orgasm.” Australian researchers found that a combination of oral stimulation, manual stimulation and intercourse increases her chance of orgasm by a mind-blowing 89%. MAKE IT HAPPEN : Use games to create the illusion of a threesome and work slowly towards an actual one. Don’t jump too quickly into something you’re not ready for (remember, your partner might not be in the 17% who want this). “Tell each other if something doesn’t feel right – whatever it is,” warns Cadell. “Otherwise a few short hours can ruin a lifetime’s relationship.”
HER FANTASY : “I’m a porn star and I’m filmed while directing various other men and women in sexual acts.” Sam, 29. WHY? And there you thought it was only men who enjoyed visual stimuli. A Stanford University study found that women who watch erotic films can be fully stimulated within two minutes. But beware: just 2% of the women in the Women’s Health survey admitted to watching porn while alone at home. MAKE IT HAPPEN : “Don’t start off with the hard core stuff,” says Victoria Zdrok, author of The Anatomy of Pleasure (R238, Kalahari). “Choose a book or movie that’s made for women, then go the extra step by choosing the next film together.
HER FANTASY : “I’m secretly brought to orgasm by my boyfriend while we’re riding in a train full of people. I’m not allowed to attract anybody’s attention.” Doreen, 31. WHY? “Sex in a setting where you run the risk of being caught in the act makes a woman aware of her enormous sexual energy,” says Queen. “The fear of getting caught heightens the sensation, which can direct you better towards the sexual experience.” MAKE IT HAPPEN : Try it out in a place where the risk of getting caught is relatively low. “I had the keys to the office where I worked,” says 37-year-old Natalie. “One evening, when it was dark already, my boyfriend and I went inside and did it on the desk of the director who I was working for. Years later, we still think about that with great pleasure.”