More Useful Stuff
So you have some problems understanding your female friend. Welcome to the club. While we may not fully understand the minds of these majestic creatures, we could learn from how to manage some of the more simple encounters when approaching our special lady
I think my girlfriend has been faking orgasms. Is there something wrong? – Johan
Probably not. Most women reach orgasm about 60% of the time with their familiar partner, according to a study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine… whereas guys do about 80% of the time. Plus, many women don’t climax from penetrative sex alone, so it might be time for you to rethink your strategy. FYI: the clitoris has eight times the amount of nerve endings than the head of your penis. So, in a nutshell: you need to work out what gets her off to supplement the intercourse that gets you off. Anatomy aside, you’re also dealing with a head game. Make sure she feels relaxed, secure, sexy and adored.
My girl is making noises about a wedding. I’m broke. Help! – Ben
“Girlfriend” implies you’re not engaged yet. Baby steps. Start by telling her your intentions – that you love her very much and want to marry her. Next, start saving for the ring. Decide whether she’s the romantic-surprise proposal type or not, and whether you’re going to choose a ring together. Traditionally, the bride’s parents foot most of the wedding costs, but if that’s not the case for you guys, you can have a longer engagement to give you more time to save.
I’ve got history with my new girlfriend’s best friend (okay, one night stand). How do I handle it? – Chris
If they’re “best” friends, chances are your girl already knows. You both have histories. I wouldn’t make a big deal about it in case it gets misinterpreted as unresolved feelings for the friend. Just don’t lie if she asks.
My fiancée says she’s looking forward to being a good housewife. Isn’t that a little dated? – Rich
In 2013, New York magazine ran a cover story on “The Feminist Housewife.” The article argued that the modern myth of “having it all” is just that – a myth: that it’s actually disempowering to women and damaging families. It investigated the trend of educated, successful women who are choosing to apply themselves, in the same way they would a career, to being good wives and mothers, and so emancipating the “desperate” housewife. It all depends on the dynamic of the relationship, and making it work demands honesty about finances and your expectations. (But those rules apply to a healthy relationship anyway, no matter your day jobs.) Supporting one another to find what fulfills you is important, so if you’re planning on getting serious, talk to her about it more. You’ll have to decide how hung up you are on roles.
She says it’s fine when something’s clearly bothering her. Do I give her space or push her to open up? Sfiso
A bit of both. This is when you need to hone your spidey senses. As a general rule, do or say the opposite of what she says. “Don’t worry about me/You don’t have to get me anything/I’m fine, nothing’s wrong”… these are generally all “Go straight to jail; do not pass go” tests. You need to simultaneously give her space and be available when she wants to talk. Try saying, “I can tell something’s wrong. I’m here if you want to talk about it.” Then wait for the cold front to blow over – or the storm to roll in.