If porn becomes a problem, there are ways to cut back

Take a porn inventory

For two weeks, use porn as usual – but jot down your reasons for doing so. Bored? Fighting with your wife? Just horny? “You can’t change something unless you know when it happens and why,” says psychologist Dr Ana Bridges, director of the relationships lab at the University of Arkansas.

Find distractions

Create a list of activities to turn to in lieu of porn –movies, exercise, sexy texts to your girlfriend.
Or, yes, masturbation. Without porn. “You need to decouple masturbation from porn,” says Bridges. Don’t worry if porn scenes pop up in your mind: once you stop feeding that fantasy, your own desires will eventually take over.

Recruit help

Tell someone – a buddy, your brother – about your mission. No, really. Everyone needs to be held accountable, says Dr
Jill Manning, a marital therapist who specialises in pornography dependence. “Part of this process is re-engaging in real-life relationships.” Ask your confidant to check in with you.

Wean yourself

A gradual break is generally best. “If you masturbate to porn fives time a week, reduce it to three times, and use an alternative strategy twice a week. The reduce it to two times, and so on,” says Bridges. Don’t sweat a relapse.
“It’s part of change,” says Bridges. “Revisit your original reasons for
quitting porn.”

Reap the benefits

During sex, make a conscious effort to stay in the moment, focusing on her body, your body and your mutual pleasure. “Without fail,” says Manning,
“the partners of men who quit porn tell me, ‘He was more present. I felt like we were really relating and connecting. Sex was much more satisfying.’ ” What’s not to like?