By MH Staff - Posted on 17th September 2013
A woman’s timekeeping can be much more telling than her words. Learn to read the hidden signs to ensure you’re in perfect sync
24 hours The majority of people check their emails at least once a day, says online communication specialist at the Open University of Israel Dr Yoram Kalman. So not hearing back within a day is cause for concern, but certainly doesn’t mean it’s curtains. Three days A recent survey by harrisinteractive.com found that 50 emails a day is the limit before people become overloaded. “A slow response is a bad sign only if she doesn’t offer an explanation,” says University of Texas professor of Communcations Dawna Ballard. Your move: Because there are so many platforms for conversation, it’s impossible to keep a constant watch on all of them,” says Kalman. Identify her preferred method – email, Facebook, SMS, phone or Twitter – then shift at least 75% of your weight of communication exclusively there.
Five-10 minutes “Women are typically up to 10 minutes late for first dates,” says communications analyst at the University of York Dr Peter Bull. Be pleased if she sticks to this. But be warned: if she’s early, she could be task oriented and view dates as if they were business meetings. >25 minutes If she’s more than 25 minutes late without a good excuse, watch out. “She might offer a genuine apology, but if she gives no advance notice or brushes it off, you should invest your time elsewhere,” says Bull. Your move: By putting her at ease upon arrival, you’ll create momentum. “Bring a book about a hobby you love,” says counselling psychologist Dr Soren Staufer-Kruse. “Reading makes you look more relaxed and sparks conversation.”
Five-10 seconds Eye contact provides a valuable feedback tool. “If she holds your gaze while you are speaking, this shows real interest,” says Bull. “However, maintaining eye contact while she is speaking simply shows that she feels secure in herself.” Don’t confuse the two. >10 seconds Believe it or not, too much eye contact is a bad thing. “Uncomfortably long looks are associated with confrontation,” says Bull. If her eyes significantly exceed the natural five to 10 second period, she’s likely to be showing disdain or disapproval, even if this is unconscious on her part. Your move: Choose quiet date locations. “Pubs and bars with TVs or a DJ present a challenge for early dates because distractions are rife,” says Ballard. Pick a quiet corner and sit facing the bar. She’ll naturally take the seat opposite, with less in her eyeline to distract her.
Three to five minutes Lingering for more than three minutes after the two of you leave the venue shows she’s seriously interested. “If she sees potential, she’ll use this time to form more of a bond,” says Ballard. <60 seconds A swift exit is a warning. “In particular, using work as an excuse for a quick getaway is an extremely bad sign,” says Bull. She’s either playing hard to get... or impossible to get. Your move: “Wait before arranging another date,” says Stauffer-Kruse. Not knowing what’s going to happen next will raise her levels of anticipation and allow her to reflect on the last date. Your golden window is two days.
Reply < one hour “A quick response shows she’s open to an exchange of messages,” says Kalman. But don’t worry if she leaves it a couple of hours. “She’ll always reply within two to three hours if she’s genuinely interested.” Three late replies “Don’t judge her behaviour following one late or non-existent reply,” says Ballard. “But if she fails to reply to your SMSes within three hours on three consecutive occasions, she’s moved on.” Your move: A Cornell University study found that positive energy peaks after 4pm, so slip into her mind with a late afternoon text, when she’ll be at her most receptive.