ORAL SEX, LATIN NAME Cunnilingus is the fine art of making love with your mouth and tongue. It’s a delicate skill, requiring patience, practice and dedication to get it right, but any woman will love and appreciate you the more for it.

But remember, men don’t give women orgasms; they can only help them achieve them. She can have an orgasm solo if that’s all she wants – she has her own talented pair of hands. In order to orgasm with a man, a woman has to be in both the right frame of mind and receive the right stimulation. You play a key role in helping her get into the right sexy frame of mind. All you need is a few skills and enthusiasm. You already have the rest of the equipment.

Shave It Off

Your beard, not hers. It’s not the time to suggest a Brazilian. It’s about asking her what she prefers on your chin… Some women will be sensitive to sharp stubble (even to the point of developing quite a serious rash in response), some will like it. Others will love the luscious rub of a soft beard, while some won’t be able to concentrate on their pleasure for all the tickling going on. She might not be able to see much of you down there, but she knows what you feel like and she knows what she likes.

Choosing The Weapons

So which is better, tongue or fingers? Both, but you need to understand the differences. The tongue’s much softer, so it can provide the gentlest possible stimulation of the clitoris and vulva. And that’s key; for many women the gentleness of oral sex is what makes it so enjoyable.

A vagina only welcomes gentle, friendly fingers and is repelled by rough fumbling. Be sure you have smooth finger nails and squeaky-clean hands too, because you can use your fingers to add extra sizzle and stimulation to oral sex. By using your thumb to lift the skin on her pubic mound just a bit, you’ll stretch her clitoris so that it’s easier for your tongue to reach all the right places. You can also use your forefinger to tease the entrance of her vagina and slip a digit inside to give her vaginal muscles something to grip onto while you’re tantalising her silly.

Get Comfortable

Being totally comfortable may sound like a no-brainer but too often it’s not the case; a crick in your neck or having her feel so uncomfortable that she can’t appreciate your masterful tongue-work is not good. Use pillows; arrange her legs so they relax over your shoulders; kneel before her; let her tell you what works for her. Don’t rely on body language here. You might think that when she’s writhing in discomfort she’s actually in the throes of delight. Don’t beat around the, um, bush. Ask her if the position is okay.

Keep It Slow

If she hasn’t asked you outright to go for it, go slow. Kiss her all the way down – her neck, the tops of her breasts, her nipples, her belly – so she gets the idea where you’re headed. You might then check in saying, “I’d like to keep going. Is that okay?” Cruise your way into position. Once you’re there, don’t pull or yank down her panties (if she’s still wearing them). Use them to make her crazy. Pull them aside in strategic spots and use your tongue for a lick or two. Then replace them. Take your time. When you finally ease them off her, it’ll be that much better.

Speak Up, Man

One of the most important facts about oral sex, especially with a new woman, is to ask for feedback and guidance. Keep your can-find-it-on-my-own attitude for car directions. If you ask nicely, eagerly, with charm and the clear intention of wanting to learn, chances are she’ll feel safe enough to tell you – and then pay attention to what she says.

If you ask a woman “do you like this?” most will say yes just to be polite, even if it’s not floating her boat. So ask a question that compares one type of touch or lick to another, such as “Do you like this, or this?” You’ll get much better feedback – which is what you need to remember. Each woman is her own country (her feedback is your passport).

The Nitty Gritty

First off, be careful how you approach her clitoris – this small bunch of nerves packs a powerful punch because it has more nerve endings (about 8 000) than any other part of a human body. And don’t forget that her entire pelvic region is ultra sensitive to stimulation as well. The undersides of her buttocks, her inner thighs and her outer vaginal lips all love to be kissed. You can’t go wrong. Relax; enjoy yourself.

Lick around the clitoris stimulating and teasing her inner labia, tasting her. She may like additional stimulation – a finger or two into the vagina. She may want your hands to reach up and play with her breasts, or she may want your fingers to hold her labia apart so that your tongue can caress her vulva more directly. With her clitoris exposed, give it quick, little sucks by enveloping it with your mouth momentarily and releasing it.

Vary your rhythm and the firmness of your tongue. Use the tip of your tongue for pinpoint accuracy, such as when you circle the clitoris, and use a limber, soft tongue to cover more skin. Run your tongue along the inner labia; nibble the flesh with your lips.

Remember to continuously return to her clitoris since most women achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation. Apply pressure to her clitoris gently and increase or decrease speed according to her body language.

The Final Curtain

During your routine, which can last a seriously long time, remember to vary your tongue technique enough so that you don’t wear yourself out; but don’t change so often that you break any orgasmic momentum you’ve got going on for her. Communication and chat is all important but once she hits that final straight and is about to orgasm – shut up. And whatever you do, don’t stop. As a woman nears a climax, she may want more direct stimulation.

Fast, rhythmic impulses are most effective. As she crests the wave she’ll let you know in a variety of ways. Some are obvious – if she’s a screamer, that’ll make it easy for you – but others are more subtle. Her vaginal muscles may begin to contract; her nipples might harden; her body might sway; her legs may tremble and her toes could curl. Whatever it is, she’ll do it her way. But one thing’s for sure, if she’s making blissfully happy sounds… well, gentlemen, congratulations, you have a winner.

Bonus Tip: ask her to kiss your earlobe with the same pressure she prefers during oral, then copy her style next time you’re down south.