When the clothes come off, speak up!

Women who worry about the way they look down there are less likely to orgasm easily during oral sex, according to my research. And a recent study published in the Journal of Sex Research suggests that women who feel embarrassed or ashamed about their bodies have less sexual experience and are less sexually assertive. Clearly, you have everything to gain with flattery. If you love the way she looks naked — and you do, right? — share the news.

Always be tender on top

During foreplay, gently brush the tops, bottoms, and sides of her breasts; these areas are actually more sensitive than an unaroused areola and nipple. Gradually move in toward her nipples, paying attention to how she responds. As things heat up, the nipples will become flushed with blood, and the sensory receptors will become primed for direct stimulation. You’ll kickstart the bloodflow and lubrication down below, starting her slow buildup.

Learn her keystrokes

One thing many women love during manual stimulation: a slow buildup. Here’s how to do it. Lie next to her, lightly bracing the heel of one hand just above her clitoris. Now run your ring and middle fingers along the length of her outer lips. Graze the skin at first, adding pressure as the tension builds. Cup the area around her clitoris with your palm to add indirect stimulation — most women are too sensitive to receive direct contact early on. As she becomes aroused, brace your hand on her mons — her pubic mound, the fleshy area that covers her pubic bone — and tease the clitoris with the middles and tips of your fingers as you move your entire hand.

Change your angle

Play Ponce de León and explore various types of penetration to figure out what turns her on most. Your first stop: her G-spot, located about 1 to 2 inches up the front wall of her vagina. This spongy region swells during arousal. Try massaging the area slowly with your fingers. A lot of women find it mind blowing. Not her thing? Just move on.

Use moves that multi-task

To maximize her pleasure, increase the amount of contact you’ll have with her most sensitive parts. Here’s one move that will drive her wild. Ask her to lie on her back, with her legs stretched out. Now climb on top. Curl your arms around her shoulders, supporting yourself with your elbows and moving your chest up by her chin. The goal is to bring the base of your penis in contact with her clitoris. Thrust slowly, focusing on up-and-down movement instead of in-and-out penetration. Another great trick: Move your pubic mound in a circle or up and down against her clitoris. You’ll get a break from high-intensity stimulation, and she’ll receive focused attention where it often matters most.