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Want to heat things up in the bedroom? First, cool down.
By employing a technique called temperature play—using hot or cold sensations to stimulate the neuroreceptors under your skin—you can add a little kink to your sex life, says Talia Wagner, a Los Angeles-based relationship expert.
“Stimulating nerve endings in foreplay builds anticipation and excitement, highly intensifying the pleasure,” says Wagner.
All you need are a couple of ice cubes to get the fun started.
Tease Your Partner
Take several ice cubes out of the freezer and set them into a bowl. Then slowly draw one along your partner’s skin.
When she starts to feel the super-cold temperatures, it’ll cause her nerves to perk up and anticipate the sensations to come, Wagner says. If you really want to drive her wild, avoid the erogenous zones—like her nipples or inner thighs—until the very last minute.
As you build up her arousal, her body will start to heat up, and those sensitive areas will feel even more sensitive when you eventually touch them with ice.
But a word of caution: Don’t place anything frozen directly onto the genitals. Remember when Ralphie got his tongue stuck to the pole in A Christmas Story? Don’t let that happen to your partner’s lady parts.
Toggle Between Temperatures
When her body gets hot, it starts to loosen up; when it gets cold, it contracts. By playing with her temperature, you’ll build and release loads of sexual tension.
Try this: Get her hot and bothered with something warm—whether it’s a lubricant or drizzle of honey on her stomach—and then brush her nipples or her inner thighs with the ice. The shock of cold will send shivers down her spine.
Enhance Oral Sex with Ice
Put an ice cube in your mouth and suck on it before going down on her. She’ll feel the heat of your breath and the frostiness of the cube at the same time, which will keep her nether region alert (from the cold) and relaxed (from the heat), Wagner says.
Bonus: “Ice can also prolong your ability to withhold orgasm, thus leading to a heightened state of sexual arousal,” says Wagner.
If you feel yourself nearing climax too soon, ask her to slow you down with an ice cube—either in her mouth, or along your body—to delay your orgasm a little longer.