“What’s the craziest thing you can see yourself doing?”

Knowing that you’re curious about her goals and aspirations makes her feel special. And getting her to confide her dreams makes her think of risk, excitement and a little danger. “All these thoughts activate adrenaline and increase sexual desire,” says sex coach Danielle Cavallucci.

“What are your recurring dreams?”

This is a great question to gauge where you are with her, says sex therapist Eric Garrison. Watch her body language when she answers. If she says she always dreams that she’s in a play and doesn’t know her lines, and then crosses her arms, back off a bit. Crossed arms are closed emotional doors. Ask her what she thinks the dream means, as you open up your posture and invite her answer. To keep the conversation more fun than Freud, watch her facial expression. “Eyebrows up conveys non-threatening curiosity – sexy,” says Garrison. “Eyebrows down conveys judgement – scary.”

“What’s the biggest thing your parents didn’t understand about you?”

Questions like this are dating gold. “You’re sending the message that you’ll go beyond the obvious when connecting with her,” says psychologist Dr Marianne Brandon. This suggests you might be similarly open sexually, which is hot.