You avoided it as long as you could, but the moment of reckoning has arrived and someone’s going to wind up with their bloody, beating heart on the floor. It’s time for The Talk; the heavy heart-to-heart that is bound to shake up your relationship. Maybe you’ve decided to take that job in Richards Bay. Maybe you lost major money at the races and need to ’fess up. You have to talk to her, but you just don’t have the nerve. Perhaps you don’t actually need the nerve, suggests psychologist Dr Irene S. Levine, author of Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup With Your Best Friend (R134 Say your piece in writing, even if you decide to drop the bomb in person. Writing out your feelings can make the actual conversation less daunting. “If you take the time to craft a speech for yourself, you’ll be more composed and thorough – and less hurtful,” Levine says.

You’ll probably feel better, too. People who write out their feelings by hand experience their emotions less painfully, a 2006 study in Psychological Science found. If it’s not uncommon for the two of you to have your heavy-duty talks by email, consider that as well.

“If you send her a well-crafted note or email, it gives her a chance to be in private while she absorbs the information,” Levine says.

There are other ways to Knock Fear Out of other situations. Just follow the link.

Oh, and after you’ve ironed out your differences you get to focus on what’s important. Use our sex tool for the best makeup sex, ever!