The jokes on Savanna’s TV commercials are dry, but the hilarious gags at Savanna’s Comic’s Choice Awards at Monte Casino were far from it. Like when Corné and Twakkie came on stage dressed as zombies who were ‘turned’ because of years of working at the SABC, or when Conrad Koch confessed his jealousy for the fame his puppet Chester Missing has garnered while another puppet, that of Public Prosecutor – Thuli Madonsela, was in a music video singing a parody of Miley Cyrus’s Wrecking Ball. But there was something else on offer that wasn’t promoted, super sexy women.

Like any pick up artist would tell you, the way you approach women depends on the environment you’re in, i.e. you wouldn’t mack on a girl in a loud club the same way you would in a silent library for instance would you? It’s no different at a comedy show like the CCA’s, your game has to be tailored to the funny environment you’re in, here’s five tips that will have women throwing their numbers, or panties at you, at any comedy show you’re attending, no jokes.

1. Be funny but don’t try too hard. Women love humorous men, because a man who can easily make her giggle can probably do the same for her in the sheets. But trying too hard to be funnier than the actual comedians might end up getting you booed. Make her chuckle once or twice, take her numbers and move on before she knows what hit her.

2. Stick to the dress code. The dress code at the CCA’s was formal, and it’s usually the same for most comedy shows. So bring out your snazziest suit and tie. A leather jacket over a neatly ironed collared shirt, tucked into your denims and matching formal sneakers are also cool. Chicks notice a man who sticks to the prescribed dress code and does it well, and they notice a man who can’t keep up, who would you give your numbers to if you were female?

3. Pretend you’re really tight with the comedians. Most women evaluate a man by the circles he’s in, so even if you don’t know any of the comedians on the roster, brush shoulders with them, have a casual chat and let their fame rub off on you. If you are seen having relaxed conversations with the most important people in the room, you’ll come across as important yourself, and they’ll most likely be asking you for your numbers so they can contact you for, er, “business.”

4. Use the free alcohol to your advantage. There was obviously free Savanna at the CCA’s, which inevitably meant there were disoriented drunk and hot girls waiting for the picking. So if there is an open bar at the show you are attending, be a gentleman and fetch the drinks for her, coming up with something funny to toast to each time you return, after a couple of rounds she’ll be loose enough to give you her numbers, or better yet she’ll want to sleep it off at your place.

5. Diss her. It’s a comedy show, a place where it’s ok to laugh at yourself and diss other people. So she’s wearing a short dress? Tell her to stop stealing her little sister’s clothes. Every man she’s spoken to in the room has probably complimented her, do the opposite, be a bit of jerk and poke fun at her. You might be the only guy in the room who had the balls to make fun of her the whole night, if she laughs at herself chances her you’re the kind of guy she’s been waiting for. If she gets upset by a little teasing, apologise and move on she would be boring anyway.

By Mooketsi Nthite, @mo_oketsi and Tenn iBair” @x__ib