Q: How many times do I let my neighbour borrow my lawn mower before I can tell him to go buy his own?

Four, and you’ll be nice each time. Once ’cause it’s no big deal. Twice ’cause you’re a good guy. The third time ’cause your wives hang out. And the fourth time ’cause you don’t feel like fighting with a guy who could help you when you may really need it.

After that, he deserves a few just-kidding-really-not jabs about how you’re his neighbour, not Builders Warehouse.