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1. YOUR FIRST SINGLE
And no cheating. it wasn’t really Nirvana, was it? Just be thankful that you don’t have to trawl charity shops for that elusive copy of Snow’s “Informer”.
2. YOUR WEIGHT ROOM PLAYLIST
No one ever benched 80kg listening to Mumford & Sons. you need something more energetic and macho! Ice cube and Rage Against the Machine are essential, but if Caliban’s “broadcast to damnation” doesn’t push you through those last three reps, nothing will.
Big meeting, interview or presentation? Keep some rousing oratory at hand. Barack Obama’s 2004 Democratic National Convention Keynote speech, or Steve Jobs’ 2005 Stanford Commencement Address will serve you well.
4. YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S FAVOURITE TUNES
Florence and the Machine or the entire Mariah Carey catalogue is the price of love and the raison d’être for the skip button.
5. A GREAT PODCAST
For long journeys, take your pick of Dan Carlin’s “Hardcore History” or the BBC’s “In Our Time”. your brain is a muscle: use it or lose it.
6. DINNER PARTY PLAYLIST
Some light music to help the food go down does wonders for ambience. Bonus points for having culture appropriate tunage to pair with your meal. Feeling confident? Try some jazz, you can’t go wrong with Hugh Masakela or Abdullah Ibrahim.
7. YOUR DANCE FLOOR SONG
Caution: use only when en route to a club or when you’re stuck at the office, alone, working a late Friday night – emphasis on “alone”, no one needs to see those killer moves under brilliant white fluorescent tubes.
8 SOMETHING FUNNY
But not too funny. You don’t want to end up actually rofling mid-commute (you never know when last that train floor was mopped). Jerry Seinfeld’s “I’m telling you for the last time” is a stand-up master class: gentle wit with just the faintest whiff of cyanide sarcasm.
9. THE “DIFFICULT” ALBUM
But make sure it’s a recognised one. Give Lou Reed’s Metal Machine Music or Miles Davis’s Bitches Brew a spin. Even if you conclude they’re atonal crap, you’ll be able to form your opinion with some degree of erudition.
10. YOUR BOUDOIR PLAYLIST
Barry White had a knack for singing about sex without actually calling it by name. subtle equals better; if you want to fornicate like an animal, you don’t need to spell it out.
11. LOCAL MUSIC YOU PAID FOR
It’s one thing to support local musicians, but a total other thing to deem them worthy of your hard-earned cash.
12. THE BREAK-UP ALBUM
Be it Adele’s 21 or Snow Patrol’s Eyes Open, there are many albums penned in the wake of love gone wrong. An MH staffer swears by limp bizkit, but there’s really no accounting for taste when love is lost.
13. GUILTY PLEASURE
You have to allow yourself at least one or two; am I right? As long as you don’t subject your friends to it, you can keep your man card.