More Useful Stuff
Triskaidekaphobia is the fear of the number 13, here are a few things that you should not fear
You may feel as if you’re trapped in an endless selfempowerment workshop. But you’ll also probably be the only man in a hot, enclosed space full of beautiful women in clingy clothing.
2 Having her drive
It establishes your commitment to a relationship based on gender equality. Plus, you get to pick the music.
3 Black-and-white movies
Dropping an All About Eve reference may elicit blank stares, but knowledge of this genre makes you a person of intrigue. Besides, you’ll learn a lot more about moving through the world from Cary Grant than from E! Entertainment.
4 Superhero cartoons
A solid relationship with nerd culture enables you to connect with nephews and sons. The sad truth is, Pokémon isn’t going away.
5 Small dogs
Okay, they’re neurotic face lickers with breathing problems. They’re also the next-cutest thing to human babies, and merely having one in your proximity makes you look like a caring person. If you can take care of a pug, you can take care of anything.
If done properly and consistently, it leads to the Promised Land. Or possibly to more snuggling, but this is a calculated risk.
7 French cheese
Though most of the good stuff smells like Nicolas Sarkozy’s private apartment, cheese really is the most incredible food in the world. Start with a ripe Epoisses, and then let your cheesemonger take you deep.
8 Makeover shows
There’s nothing like watching perky strangers barge into someone’s life, only to find it empty. The shows are formulaic and fake, yes, but you’re getting free tips from professionals who would otherwise charge thousands.
We’re not talking work kitchen stashes of Lemon Lift and Rosemary Reviver, but the real stuff: first-flush Darjeeling and rooibos. Men have been drinking it for thousands of years, it tastes great, and it doesn’t crack you out like coffee.
10 Video games
“I play a buttload of Grand Theft Auto” isn’t exactly a calling card, but there’s something to be said about keeping certain childhood enthusiasms alive. It’s still socially acceptable to play Monopoly or Scrabble, so why not Centipede or Mario Kart? Stay in touch with your younger self without the trauma of having to go through puberty again, and kick some arse while you’re at it.
11 South African music
Your snobbery betrays ignorance. South African musos have never offered as much creative variety at such a polished level. Just think about such groups and musicians as: Goldfish, The Dirty Skirts, Loyiso, Louise Carver, Zonke, Seether, Malaika, Prime Circle, Karen Zoid, Stealing Love Jones, The Parlotones, Chris Chameleon. Music that’ll press your buttons, no matter what you’re into.
12 Street-stall food
Your odds of a little gastrointestinal distress may increase slightly, but it’s immensely satisfying to eat out at a most basic level. You could discover a brand-new taste that will change the way you think about, say, Somalia. At the very least, you’ll have a cheap lunch.
13 Staying home alone on a Saturday night
This could mean a beer at the kitchen table, a long, mopey bath and an early bedtime. Or you could revel in the solitude and freedom. On weekends, everything is more crowded and expensive. Go out on a Tuesday, when the crowds are scarce and the beer is heavily discounted.