Her sexual past

As long as she didn’t pick up anything communicable, think of it this way: you’re the benefi ciary of years of practice.

Your Parents’ Fallibility

Your therapist is tired of hearing about the forced French horn lessons. Get over it, will you?

Your Own Fallibility

Sometimes sucking at something but going ahead and doing it anyway is fun (think dancing).

The Knowledge That Life Has More Violent Swings Than A Bout With Mike Tyson

Denying it only makes it worse. Right, Mike?

That Rival/Ex-girlfriend/Ex-boss whom You Still Resent

They don’t deserve that level of devotion from you, do they?

Your Lousy Childhood

If you had lived in 1650, you’d have had a one-in-three chance of making it to 18. Being roped in to help out with the family hardware business from 16 was a privilege.

Your Neighbour’s Birthday Party

It’s kind of like being back at the plaas: you’re forced to eat boerewors and talk to boring people who are always moaning about the crime. But attending creates a peaceful border. Suck it up.

Monday morning

Nothing makes for a killer Friday like a superproductive Monday.

Your Rock-Star Fantasy

You know what comes with groupies? Herpes.

Your Girlfriend’s “Flaw”

Give her a break. She endures your quirks, maybe even indulges them. Return the favour, andthrow in a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes while you’re at it.

The Daily Grind

Defend your priorities with a firm hand, and other people will stop setting them for you.

Mortality

Men stare death in the face with terror, bravery, incomprehension, loathing and honour, but we all still bite the dust. You will, too. Until then, go ahead and plan your next adventure holiday.