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• I find myself going back to check whether I’ve locked up, even though I know I have. Is this obsessive-compulsive?

  • I find myself going back to check whether I’ve locked up, even though I know I have. Is this obsessive-compulsive?

    Mental health professionals define obsessive-compulsive disorder as consisting of: A) obsessions – recurrent and persistent thoughts impulses or images that are intrusive or cause anxiety or distress; and B) compulsions – repetitive behaviours (hand washing, checking, ordering ) or mental acts (counting, repeating words) that the individual feels compelled to perform in response to an obsession. Your behaviour certainly sounds like one symptom of OCD, but to qualify for the full diagnosis, the behaviour must also become time consuming, taking up more than an hour a day. It’s advisable to have yourself assessed by a psychiatrist. If you do have OCD, the good news is that there are now excellent treatments to control it.

• Any tips for staying calm and mentally preparing for a job interview?

  • Any tips for staying calm and mentally preparing for a job interview?

    Almost all job interviews are a nerve-racking experience and you wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t experience some anxiety about how you’ll perform. Commonly you are told to do a lot of research about the company. My advice is to rather do more prep on yourself. Consider yourself the product and the company the customer. Find out about the organisation and how your qualifications, personality and attributes can provide them with a good employee. Then sell this to them. Role-play with friends and get their feedback on what you need to sharpen up on.

• How do I deal with office gossip that is affecting my work?

  • There's a lot of gossip at work. I don't get involved, but it's really starting to affect my work and mood. Short of leaving the company, how can I deal with it?

    Office politics are a normal occurrence in any corporate environment. Sometimes the politics become destructive and the atmosphere becomes toxic. For the average person, it then becomes unbearable to go to work as you become poisoned by it too. Sometimes it becomes part of the company’s culture and is very difficultto change. Your best bet is to do exactly what you are doing now – remain uninvolved. People will eventually tire of trying to include you in their shenanigans. You should also form alliances with like-minded people and socialise with them. This way you can form a protective barrier against the gossip mongers .

• How do I remember people's names?

  • I'm really bad at remembering people's names. What mental technique will help me remember better?

    Difficulty remembering names is a common concern, especially if meeting people is part of your job. It can be disastrous for business if you get someone’s name wrong. Use the RUM method : repeat, use, mnemonics. When you’re introduced to someone, immediately repeat the name, use it in a sentence and then create a mnemonic (a memory device for associating two concepts). For example, “Nice to meet you Mr Green. Are you the Mr Green from admin?� Then visualise Mr Green, painted green, lying in a pile of papers. Chances are you’ll easily recall his name next time.

• How do I teach my son without getting impatient?

  • I was a competitive tennis player and am now teaching my six year old son how to play. I find myself getting agitated when he doesn't get something right. How do I guard against being the "pushy parent"?

    A wise old colleague once told me that we should never teach our loved ones to dance or drive, because we simply will not have the patience to allow them to progress at a “normal� pace. All parents want the best for their kids and, therefore, we lose our objectivity and expect too much too quickly from them. This puts them under pressure and the activity stops being fun. Your situation is exacerbated by the fact that you were competitive. Best you hire a coach.

• What can I do while running that will keep my mind busy?

  • During endurance events my mind always seems to let me down. Any tricks I can use?

    Endurance events are obviously tough and can become boring because of a lack of exciting stimuli. The trick is to learn focusing techniques without being distracted and losing your rhythm. Put inspirational music on your iPod, like the music from Rocky, and visualise him running up those stairs. Another useful technique is to connect a hands-free kit on your cellphone and get a friend to talk you through a really tough patch. (I did it for a colleague in the Argus and it worked really well.)

• How do I avoid nightmares that affect my sleep?

  • I have a recurring nightmare that affects my sleep. Are there some mental tricks I can use to end the nightmare routine?

    A nightmare is an intensely bad dream, which can be very distressing. There are several possible causes, such as illness or medication. If you are on treatment check if nightmares are a side effect of the pills. Sometimes the nightmare reflects worries or stressors you have been experiencing but ignoring. The nightmare is your mind’s way of making you pay attention. An interesting technique is to try to “neutralise� the nightmare by visualising a pleasant, alternative ending before going back to sleep. Say, for example, you dream of falling, imagine instead that you fall gently onto a big, soft bed with a beautiful girl waiting for you.

• How do I know if my 5 year old has Attention deficit disorder?

  • How do I know if my fifive-yearold son has attention defificit disorder (ADD)?

    That term no longer exists. The condition is now called attention defificit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). The principle characteristics of ADHD are inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity. Inattentive children have a hard time keeping their minds on any one thing and may get bored with a task after only a few minutes. Hyperactive children are always “on the go� and show an inability to sit still. Impulsive children struggle to curb their immediate reactions or think before they act. The problem with diagnosing the condition is that many normal children may have these symptoms, but at a low level or they may be caused by another disorder. The only way to be completely sure is to have your son assessed by an appropriately-trained paediatrician or psychologist.

• Does hypnotherapy work?

  • Does therapy using hypnosis really work? I want to change some of my bad habits (like smoking) and thought it would be worth a try.

    Hypnosis as a method of healing has been around in various forms since the ancient Egyptians, Indians and Greeks. Freud initially used it to treat psychological disorders and in 1955 the British Medical Association sanctioned its use. Research shows that hypnosis may help in a variety of conditions such as obesity, pain control, phobias, anxiety and habit changes that include smoking. So go on, give it a try. Contact the SA Society of Clinical Hypnosis on 011 622 1598.

• I've just returned from holiday and feel listless, am I depressed?

  • Since returning from my holiday, I’ve become very listless and find it hard to get up in the morning. How do I know if I’m depressed, and how do I combat this?

    Naturally, who wants to get up in the morning and go to work when you can rather go surfing, have coffee or breakfast, meet your friends, go clubbing until sunrise or just sleep until the weekend. It’s completely normal to feel this way for a short period of time following your holiday, till you become “work fit� again. If you still feel this way in a few weeks then it is definitely not just back-to-work blues. See your GP immediately to find a solution.

*Men's Health does not give out contact information for experts featured in our magazine or on our web site, and queries addressed to these individuals cannot be forwarded on your behalf. If you require professional health and lifestyle advice, we strongly recommend that you contact your local service providers.

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