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• Do I ahve to get rid sexy ex photos?

  • My girlfriend told me to toss a sexy photo of my ex. Do I have to?

    Women are no strangers to nostalgia, saving the champagne cork from your New Years together or a dried rose from the anniversary bunch you gave her. I bet none of that crap means anything to you. But for her, they’re the little reminders of special moments along your journey together. Now, when a relationship ends, she’s not going to erase the experiences (and doesn’t expect you to either), but suddenly those artefacts lack all meaning. So, I’ve got to ask: why are you hanging on to the picture? If it’s part of your past and has lost its meaning, it should be easy to toss. By keeping your ex in the present you’re sending your current girl a defi nite message. Prepare for more heartache than it’s worth.

• Can we be friends again?

  • My friend and I fooled around a few times, but I ended it – she wanted a relationship and I didn’t. Can we be friends again?

    Probably. But give it time. The “we� she was imagining has swiftly turned to “me� and now it’s all about her. Be aware – she’s summing up every move you make. If you flirt with other women around her, she’ll be offended. If you touch her affectionately, she’ll see it as evidence that you want her. Your only move is to be open and honest – let her know how much you value her friendship – give her space and treat her exactly as you treat your other friends, the way you did before this all happened. No mixed signals. The worst mistake you could make is to let it happen again, so avoid alcohol-fuelled cosy interactions that will affect your inhibitions. One strike and you’re out.

• How do I tell her to tone down her toothy technique?

  • She becomes a shredder in oral sex. How do I tell her to be more gentle without her taking it personally and stopping the oral vibe totally?

    It depends on the girl – you'll know whether she can take instruction well. But, like anybody, she probably won't want to feel like she's being criticised. Especially when she thinks she's "giving" you something. Being tutored on the job is a real passion killer, so if it's truly excruciating, that's one way you could end the experience swiftly. To get the most out of the situation, however, try whispering, sensually, what you want and how you like it. "I love it when you suck me..." Even gentle prompting like "slowly" will help as she may be losing all technique by going too vigorously. Most of the time, we're just trying to please you and show our enthusiasm, but since we don't have penises, sometimes the mechanics are lost on us. Move her hand to the base of your shaft and show her how you want her to touch you so that she can focus all her attention on the tip, kissing and sucking it. By attempting to put the whole thing in her mouth, she runs the risk of tenderising your delicate member with her teeth. Wild card tip: get sticky. Send her a message that licking and sucking is what you like by introducing food (like melted chocolate, honey, cream) and pouring it over each other's bodies, spending time tenderly kissing and licking each other. Change the context and she may feel less like she has to give you a all-guys-love-them-and-I-want-to-make-you-happy blow job as a means to an end. She'll relax a little more and take pleasure in the experience.

• I like thongs, she doesn't. How do I change her mind?

  • I find thongs a huge turn-on, but my girlfriend refuses to wear them. She says they’re uncomfortable. Why then, are they so popular, and what can I do to change her mind?

    I did a poll with the girls in the office and, like most things, it comes down to personal preference. Unfortunately for your theory of the thong's popularity, the vote went for the boy leg cut. In my experience, there is a style for every occasion. What I'm wearing that day will determine the cut of knickers – all in the aim of avoiding the VPL (girl-speak for: Visible Panty Line). So something sheer calls for those miracle, thin "invisible" ones; tight trouser a tiny thong; French knickers with a lace trim for a summer dress... You get the picture?! So maybe she's just combining the thong with the wrong clothing that's making it ride uncomfortably. There, I said it. As sexy as our underwear is to you, it's got to be comfortable for us. Too small, too much lace, too low or too high and it annoys the heck out of us. Maybe she just hasn't found one that fits just right. Most of the really racy lingerie I own is FHEO (For His Eyes Only), so if she's never going to be a regular convert, your best bet would be to pick out something sexy together for a night of passion or a weekend away. Just knowing how much you love her in it and how turned on you are may just convince her to don a pair... specially if she knows you'll be whipping them off soon enough. For bonus points, pick up her favourite style in more sexy material or colours while you're shopping. Just bear in mind, the surest way to not get inside those comfort, beige knickers she loves, is to criticise her and start a fight. Apply some tact.

• Why don't women like manual stimulation?

  • Why do women seem so reluctant to engage in manual stimulation?

    Do you mean her stimulating you or herself? You might find that she’s less than enthusiastic about pumping her arm until it cramps for your enjoyment – a decidedly one-sided pleasure that’s bound to remind her of her selfish varsity boyfriend. Once the champagne’s popped, all the fizz goes – for her, that is. You need to make new, pleasurable memories about mutual satisfaction. Tell her about how much her touch turns you on, instigate a “No-penetration Night� where you focus only on touch and, most importantly, return the favour and ensure she’s satisfied in return. Nights like that will offer you the opportunity to encourage her to get in touch... with herself. Remember you’re fighting off years of ingrained social conditioning that’s telling her her hand will fall off if she touches down there. Emphasise her pleasure (not just how much you like to watch) and soon she’ll be the one initiating.

• How do I let my roommate know I like her?

  • I have a crush on my roommate. How should I let her know?

    Prepare to kiss all those comfortable evenings snuggled up on the couch, her casually asking you to zip up the back of her dress or walking by you in the passage in nothing but a towel goodbye. The dynamic is going to change... and probably not in a good way. Your best bet is to move out. She’ll respect you for respecting her space and then you can start things off on neutral territory. Far safer. If that’s seems like too much work, you’re probably not that into her.

• How do I change her kissing action?

  • She kisses as if she’s trying to suck off my face. Can I change that?

    Yes. Show her how. Initiate the pace and kiss her the way you want to be kissed. Start off slowly, kissing with mouths only slightly open, then open a little wider and introduce a bit of tongue. If she takes this as her opportunity to slam hers down your throat, pull back a little and start the routine again. Avoid hurting her feelings by praising what you love about her kissing and leaving out the parts you don’t.

• Is winking effective?

  • The wink as a flirting device – effective?

    Done right – subtly, fast and unobvious without that “Yeah, you’re checking-me-out-checking-you-out� grin – then, yes, it can be totally hot.

• What can I do to loosen her up?

  • She never lets loose when she’s on top. What can I do?

    To make a girl go primal, you need to short-circuit her inner critic, help her let go of self-consciousness and just do what feels good. A bottle of sparkling wine is always encouraged, but optional. What you really need is a dark room (so she won’t worry about jiggling thighs and cellulite) and her favourite music turned up loud (to drown out the sound of skin slapping skin). And you need to cheer her on by telling her that she’s incredibly sexy and that you love it when she sweats and moans and moves hard and fast. Keep saying it over and over again, and slowly it will start to sink in.

• Her best friend is a straight guy. How worried should I be?

  • Her best friend is a straight guy. How worried should I be?

    The problem with her opposite-sex buddy is that he can fi ll the same needs you do. It’s like you’re the Nike shop and her male best friend is the Reebok shop next door. Sure she’s brand-loyal, but any time you happen to be closed all she has to do is mosey on over to Reebok for her socks and shoes. And it’s not sex you should worry about so much as emotional stuff. If she’s going to him for comfort, protection and connection, maybe you need to start paying more attention to her. Your second tactic is awkward, but constructive. Subject his Reebok shop to a friendly buyout: turn him into a pal, too.

*Men's Health does not give out contact information for experts featured in our magazine or on our web site, and queries addressed to these individuals cannot be forwarded on your behalf. If you require professional health and lifestyle advice, we strongly recommend that you contact your local service providers.

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