Girl Next Door

What women want

Get the honest truth about what girls want from our lovely neighbour from next door

Why do women seem so reluctant to engage in manual stimulation?

Do you mean her stimulating you or herself? You might find that she’s less than enthusiastic about pumping her arm until it cramps for your enjoyment – a decidedly one-sided pleasure that’s bound to remind her of her selfish varsity boyfriend. Once the champagne’s popped, all the fizz goes – for her, that is. You need to make new, pleasurable memories about mutual satisfaction. Tell her about how much her touch turns you on, instigate a “No-penetration Night” where you focus only on touch and, most importantly, return the favour and ensure she’s satisfied in return. Nights like that will offer you the opportunity to encourage her to get in touch... with herself. Remember you’re fighting off years of ingrained social conditioning that’s telling her her hand will fall off if she touches down there. Emphasise her pleasure (not just how much you like to watch) and soon she’ll be the one initiating.

I have a crush on my roommate. How should I let her know?

Prepare to kiss all those comfortable evenings snuggled up on the couch, her casually asking you to zip up the back of her dress or walking by you in the passage in nothing but a towel goodbye. The dynamic is going to change... and probably not in a good way. Your best bet is to move out. She’ll respect you for respecting her space and then you can start things off on neutral territory. Far safer. If that’s seems like too much work, you’re probably not that into her.

She kisses as if she’s trying to suck off my face. Can I change that?

Yes. Show her how. Initiate the pace and kiss her the way you want to be kissed. Start off slowly, kissing with mouths only slightly open, then open a little wider and introduce a bit of tongue. If she takes this as her opportunity to slam hers down your throat, pull back a little and start the routine again. Avoid hurting her feelings by praising what you love about her kissing and leaving out the parts you don’t.

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Is winking effective?
- The wink as a flirting device – effective?
  
  Done right – subtly, fast and unobvious without that “Yeah, you’re checking-me-out-checking-you-out” grin – then, yes, it can be totally hot.
What can I do to loosen her up?
- She never lets loose when she’s on top. What can I do?
  
  To make a girl go primal, you need to short-circuit her inner critic, help her let go of self-consciousness and just do what feels good. A bottle of sparkling wine is always encouraged, but optional. What you really need is a dark room (so she won’t worry about jiggling thighs and cellulite) and her favourite music turned up loud (to drown out the sound of skin slapping skin). And you need to cheer her on by telling her that she’s incredibly sexy and that you love it when she sweats and moans and moves hard and fast. Keep saying it over and over again, and slowly it will start to sink in.
Her best friend is a straight guy. How worried should I be?
- Her best friend is a straight guy. How worried should I be?
  
  The problem with her opposite-sex buddy is that he can fi ll the same needs you do. It’s like you’re the Nike shop and her male best friend is the Reebok shop next door. Sure she’s brand-loyal, but any time you happen to be closed all she has to do is mosey on over to Reebok for her socks and shoes. And it’s not sex you should worry about so much as emotional stuff. If she’s going to him for comfort, protection and connection, maybe you need to start paying more attention to her. Your second tactic is awkward, but constructive. Subject his Reebok shop to a friendly buyout: turn him into a pal, too.
Why do so few women have hobbies?
- Guys fish, play soccer and build stuff. How come so few women seem to have hobbies?
  
  They do have hobbies, they’re just totally unrecognisable to your male sensibilities. All that time she spends on the phone with friends, shopping for shoes, reading magazines and planning dinner? Those are hobbies. There’s just no little wooden birdhouse at the end.
What do I say when my girlfriend asks if I think her friend is hot?
- What do I say when my girlfriend asks if I think her friend is hot?
  
  Her hot friend is making your woman feel like chopped liver, so an honest “yes” will only kick her ego while it’s down. Find a fl aw in her friend’s physique or personality – look hard, there has to be at least one – and claim that it turns you off. The proper response should be something like “Ja, she’d be attractive if it wasn’t for her squeaky voice/pointy chin/giant forehead/snotty attitude.” It’s a sweet little half-truth that will make hanging out with the hottie easier on everyone.
Is there a pick up line that will stop a woman on the street?
- Is there a pick-up line that’ll make a woman walking down the street stop for a conversation?
  
  The street you say? You mean the same location that most women associate creepy men who wolf whistle and taxi drivers who hoot and shout “Hey lady” in unbridled (and unwanted) appreciation? Then, the answer’s no. There are plenty of appropriate spaces like bars and coffee shops where your chances are far higher. In the street, she’s already on guard.
Can I tell her that I'm sick of her boring friends?
- I’m sick of going to dinner with my girlfriend’s boring friends. Can I just tell her that?
  
  You know better than that. Sitting around with people you have absolutely no interest in is just one of the banes of being in a relationship. One thing you can do is suggest skipping the restaurant and meeting up with her crew at a pool bar so there’s something obvious to talk about. Or lure them to an outdoor concert where you can sprawl out on a blanket and nod off when the going turns dull.
Do women like having their nipples bit?
- A woman asked me to bite her nipples. Do most women like that?
  
  The general consensus seems to be no. But, personally, I think a nipple nibble hits the spot if the moment is right. As with spanking, nasty talk and sloppy tongue thrusts, it’s a move you save for sex that’s frantic and raw. If she’s clawing your back and gnawing on your neck, bite back. Even then, your teeth should register but not hurt. Controlled aggression is sexy. Actual pain is just wrong.
What’s the easiest way to let her know I’m not interested?
- What’s the easiest way to let her know I’m not interested?
  
  Easiest? Don’t call her back. Easiest while still being nice? Send an email explaining that you enjoyed meeting her but get the sense that neither of you is feeling a spark.
How can I make my wife mad with lust?
- How can I make my wife mad with lust?
  
  You have to get her really excited: her blood pumping, her adrenaline flowing, her thighs tingling. Find a sport you can play against each other, such as squash or tennis, and let the sweating, trash talking and score keeping commence. If competition isn’t an option, try fear. Dare her to try something new and slightly dangerous, such as scuba diving or zip-lining. Or just take her to a horror movie that’ll make her jump out of her skin. All the above will make her feel alive, exhilarated and hungry for more stimulation. That’s the stuff lust is made of.

*Men's Health does not give out contact information for experts featured in our magazine or on our web site, and queries addressed to these individuals cannot be forwarded on your behalf. If you require professional health and lifestyle advice, we strongly recommend that you contact your local service providers.

District 9 and Invictus got stuffed at the Oscars. What other great films were robbed of the Best Picture Oscar over the years?
	Citizen Kane (lost to How Green Was My Valley in 1941)
	Dr Strangelove (lost to My Fair Lady in 1964)
	2001: A Space Odyssey (wasn't even nominated, and lost to Oliver! in 1968)
	Star Wars (lost to Annie Hall in 1977)
	Apocalypse Now (lost to Kramer vs Kramer in 1979)
	Raging Bull (lost to Ordinary People in 1980)
	Raiders of the Lost Ark (lost to Chariots of Fire in 1981)
	ET (lost to Ghandi in 1982)
	Saving Private Ryan (lost to Shakespeare In Love in 1998)
	The Gangs of New York (lost to Chicago in 2002)

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